Category Archives: Blessings

You are the light of the world

09 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Change, Election 2016, Glorifying God, Intentional Living, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Perspective, Prayer, Prayers, Tough days

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Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
~Seymour Miller & Jill Jackson, “Let There Be Peace on Earth,” 1955

 

It is a policy of mine to be neutral on this little blog, keeping the stories more about how I overcome my personal struggles, my path to a more peaceful and simpler life, and how I seek out joy in little ways. However, I do want to share with you the words that I posted to my personal Facebook account this morning, since it was received with much positive response:

“No matter if you are feeling shocked and saddened, or overjoyed and triumphant about our president-elect, at the end of today, when the strength of our feelings have simmered down a bit, let us reflect on the fact that we are still Americans–free people so privileged and blessed to have all that we do living in this great nation of ours, especially in comparison to most of the world around us. Let’s not forget how we are called to love one another, despite the differences that divide us, and that our children are truly the future. Live your life with joy and integrity, help those less fortunate, be a light in the world, forgive each other, and offer peace and a smile as much as possible.”

 Maybe, the next four years look grim to you, with the bright horizon forever dimmed by the despair for where you think this country is headed. Try not to lose hope, reader friend. Maybe, the next four years looks bright and prosperous to you, defined by a positive change, and hope for what’s to come. My friend, please don’t lose focus of what is truly important. No doubt, America is headed in a new direction. And, we must brace ourselves for the unknown, and pray for a better tomorrow. At the end of the day, my hope is that most Americans still believe in all that holds true in “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” and the inherent goodness found in each of us.

Let’s not forget that peace and change begins with our individual selves. We can choose the good and spread that light between us. If each one of us could do that— make a habit of spreading that kind of light and love throughout our homes and communities—just imagine how beautiful our country would look in the afterglow of peace.

How can you be a light to the world around you? In what ways do you seek out joy in times of despair? 

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Steadfast Simplicity

08 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Change, Chasing Dreams, Forgiveness, Glorifying God, Inspiration, Intentional Living, New Year New You, New Year's Resolutions, Past, Peace, Perspective, Simple Living, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

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The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed — it is a process of elimination. ~Elbert Hubbard

Striving toward minimalism is finally letting go of everything, and looking forward in anticipation toward all that will be gained in choosing to live and embody a simpler lifestyle. And the choice to become a minimalist is as easy as declaring, “Today is the day!”  Stating, “Enough is enough!” Realizing, “All of this stuff is weighing me down and dragging my health and happiness along with it.” Then you begin. First, by grabbing a trash bag and choosing to conquer one room at a time, or even just the junk drawer for now.

Your life will never feel or look the same once you pledge to make the positive change once and for all. And that’s the beauty in simplified, minimalistic, conscious-living. No longer living this life of yours on auto-pilot, but discerning with purpose, and redefining success, wealth, happiness, and joy—on your own terms.

Gifting—not just giving—yourself the permission to live the life you’ve always dreamed of, answering that call to be your authentic self, being counter-cultural in so many facets, and essentially, finding your own groove will be just a handful of positive outcomes of choosing to simplify your life while you strive toward minimalism. There is freedom in stating a firm “no” to the world, and shouting a resounding, “yes!” to your heart. You’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner!

I have learned there is joy in making sound, rightful choices that stem from a place of peacefulness. That you’ll breed contentment in making these calm, conscious choices without a senseless environment to distract you, or the mind-clutter and unfounded fear within you obstructing the view. Note, there is humility in taking less for yourself and sharing that excess with others. You will walk, talk, and feel lighter with each new step on this minimalism journey. Simplifying is a satisfying soul cleanser, to say the least.

Take pride in how you define living a simpler life. Own what striving toward minimalism signifies to you in your own way. Don’t lose hope of what you’re starting. Work diligently, but gently and deliberately in all acts of simplifying and de-cluttering. Remind yourself that it’s all about balance—finding what works best for your life and heart. Choose now to live without all those things holding you back so that you can live the life you were meant to enjoy.

Looking ahead toward a New Year, don’t despair if this year’s attempts to redefine your lifestyle look completely different from the steps you plan to make on the journey toward minimalism in 2017. That’s the beauty in the pursuit of simplicity. Go at your own pace and don’t rush the process. It’s all about being intentional, after all. You’ll find your purposeful groove, and one day you’ll realize you’re living a minimalist, simpler way without giving much thought to how you got there.

Live your life simply, let go, follow your calling, forgive trespasses, and be set free. Regard yourself less and think of others more. Live your life in peace so that the light of love shines from within and reaches out to others.  Make your path to minimalism your own, but not without sharing that steadfast joy with others, and being grateful for the chance you’ve been gifted to change for the better.

Will you be striving toward minimalism in 2017? What small acts of simplifying and de-cluttering have yielded great, positive changes in your life?

 

Grateful, thankful, blessed to be

07 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Endometriosis & Adenomyosis, Infertility, National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month, Peace, Personal Challenges, Personal health, Perspective, Prayer, Tough days, Writing Goals

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“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite – only a sense of existence. Well, anything for variety. I am ready to try this for the next ten thousand years, and exhaust it. How sweet to think of! my extremities well charred, and my intellectual part too, so that there is no danger of worm or rot for a long while. My breath is sweet to me. O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.” ― Henry David Thoreau

Unbelievably, the entire month of October dashed by, and now the first week of November has already ended—just like that! Last month, I had grand plans to post many times here in support of the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness campaign, however, my chronic fertility-related health issues decided to flare-up with a vengeance, which left me debilitated for quite some time, and with no option but to take a step back from my writing plans in order to get back on my feet again. Doctor visits, ultrasounds, rest, and self-care were a must for these few weeks, and so I gave in to the retreat. I’m happy to report that although I’m not 100% recovered, I am gaining back my energy levels and the pain has lessened substantially. Those of us with chronic illnesses must account for and accept that there will be wonderfully blessed moments of good health, as well as great downturns and set backs. It’s a great cross to shoulder, though we find the strength to carry on.

The upside to all the extra rest and downtime my doctor ordered? Much time for reading and ruminating!

Now that the month of thanks is upon us, I am choosing joy and to be thankful for my life. And although I may never experience a complete healing, and my current recovery time might feel slow and tedious, painful and upsetting on most days, I am thankful to still be here, able to write when I can (on the good days).

“Discovering joy amid pain” is what I strive for in my life and in the writing I share on this blog. Choosing joy and gratefulness isn’t always easy to do, but the practice surely turns your heart, mind, and soul toward a greater good.

Can you name your blessings today and be grateful for even the tiniest joy? How might you channel your troubles, ailments, and pains into something greater that will strengthen you for the journey?

Healthy Eating, Simplified

19 Monday Sep 2016

Posted by in Blessings, Change, Endometriosis & Adenomyosis, Infertility, Personal Challenges, Personal health, Simple Living, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

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Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels. ~Author unknown

Before I go on about the ways I have simplified the task of feeding my family, I want to say that it has been a long road getting here and I’m not quite sure the path to eating perfection will ever be attained, nor should it. For many, many years, we ascribed to the “beans and rice, rice and beans” mentality until we learned that those meals, albeit healthy and frugal in their own right, were not kind nor helpful to the multiple health issues I am fighting against daily (Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, hormone imbalances, infertility, repeat miscarriages, migraines, and more). A few years ago, before I became pregnant with The Toddler, I was facing some serious stuff. That’s all I’m going to say about that except to note that my long-time doctor (sadly, now retired) and I had a major life-changing discussion in his office while going over my recent test results, ultrasound scans, and everything that could and couldn’t be done about the extent and seriousness of my illnesses (think: Cancer and gene testing). Scary stuff.

As a last resort, this doctor—who was a champion for me and my health from my first appointment on, a beacon of hope in some of my darkest times of baby loss, one whom celebrated with us the birth of every child he surgically delivered, and the adoption of The Girl—urgently prescribed a type of modified-Paleo regime that strictly eliminated ALL grains and sugars from my diet for three months, and put me back on natural progesterone support. What I needed to commit to was a diet without rice or pasta (not even gluten-free), no pizza or breads, no fruits or desserts, nor sugar in my tea. You get the picture. He wanted me to check in every month and let him know how I was feeling, continue sending in my NFP charts, note any changes in all symptoms and frequency of migraines, any new or worsening conditions, anything positive or negative related to my cycle and health issues. After the three months’ trial, he said that I could begin to add one grain or sugar back  into rotation at a time to see if and what I could tolerate in those food categories.

I owed this special doctor so much for the family he helped us build, the prayers he prayed in our name, wholeheartedly trusting his medical knowledge and advice on the management of my health-related issues over the years, and appreciated his candid, yet gentle discussions with me about the truth and seriousness of the female disorders I live with every day. Although, in the past I had tried The Endo Diet, I was unsuccessful each time I tried to modify my diet to meet the requirements. It seemed overwhelming and daunting, especially during the times after another miscarriage or months on end of trying to conceive another pregnancy. However, three years ago, I was desperate.

Hitting the vortex of desperation with my doctor’s newfound research, empathy and conviction to keeping another pending surgery at bay, he put me on the path to a whole new me. Truly. This major change to my diet, which seemed simple and doable against all the odds I was facing (after all, what did I have to lose?) in turn changed my health around almost instantaneously and, in a sense, gave me my life back. Quite possibly, considerably changing my diet is the one and only reason—aside from a true miracle—that The Toddler’s life exists. For this reason alone, I am humbled and feel blessed beyond compare, and try my best to maintain this type of eating regime for optimum health so that I can be the best version of myself for those I love the most.

~

The one area of my life I refuse to scrimp on is what I serve my family to eat. In our household, we have multiple special-diets that we must adhere to due to a list of life-threatening food allergies and serious medical conditions. There was a time when I enjoyed cooking and learning new, elaborate recipes. Although I do still enjoy cooking and trying enticing recipes, health and safety is always on my mind. Over the last few years, I have discovered that simple, whole foods are the easiest, most cost-effective, and healthiest means to feeding my family.

So, what are some of my strategies for feeding a large family with all the variables I mentioned above? How do I keep the necessary tasks of cooking and preparing healthy and safe meals, and shopping within a budget possible? For one, I make it a priority to serve raw and fresh fruits and veggies at most meals and for snacks. I tend to only steam, cook, or roast vegetables at dinner time. We do serve your typical “kid-friendly” snacks (Veggie Straws, Goldfish crackers, Annie’s bunny fruit snacks, etc…) but the list of packaged foods we choose to buy is slim due to allergen restrictions and my commitment to feeding my family more whole foods and less processed ones, and find it a relief to both my healthy-eating conscience and wallet staying away from most pre-packaged snacks for daily consumption.

Over the weekend, I typically will buy the ingredients I need for cooking a pot of homemade chicken and vegetable soup, turkey and veggie chili, or Tuscan vegetable soup on Sunday or Monday for myself to eat at lunch and/or snack all week-long. This has been a lifesaver for my health-related and time-saving needs. It’s especially helpful to have this type of healthy leftover on hand for nights the kids have swimming lessons (pizza night!), or when my husband is away on business and I serve the kids a meal they prefer (think: chicken nuggets, French fries, applesauce, and green beans!).

What saves us the most time and money is eating a ton of left-overs, non-complicated foods, and simply, meal planning. An organic rotisserie chicken goes a long way and can be made into multiple meals throughout the week. The last of the chicken leftovers get thrown into the soup pot and all of the pieces combined make a delicious bone broth. Food waste is a big deal to me and one that I haven’t quite ratified 100% from my kitchen. However, I will tell you that by simplifying what is written down on my grocery list and not being too over-zealous in my meal planning, we waste much, much less than ever before.

Managing to keep my food shopping to one or two grocery stores only—the two that best serve our eating and monetary needs–also helps. (In case you are wondering, I shop primarily at Aldi and Kroger.) Texting The Husband at the end of his work day when we are out of: whole milk, eggs, bananas, etc… and asking him to please stop  on his way home helps me to stay out of the grocery store every few days, which also saves me from the temptation of over-buying and over-spending (but, it was on sale!) when we need only a few essentials to get us to the next pay period. We rarely eat out because it’s difficult to keep The Toddler in a high chair, not to mention the many allergies to consider. At this stage in our family’s life, we’d much rather spend our time and money elsewhere.

Keeping to particular food shopping and meal preparation routines enables me to simplify my life to ensure there is adequate room for what matters most: keeping my family well-fed in healthy and safe ways, and making memories by spending our precious time together doing what we enjoy.

 

Please share with me how you simplify the ways it takes to feed your family. Do you enjoy eating out together, or do you prefer to make homemade meals? What advice can you offer about simplifying meal-prep routines?

 

One Lovely Blog

15 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, Blessings, Blog Hop, Inspiration, Reading, Writing

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courtesy of mysupercrazylife.com

One Lovely Blog Award

A special thank you to Natalie of http://mysupercrazylife.com for the nomination of the One Lovely Blog award. Do yourself a favor and read her blog! Faced with a ridiculous amount of challenges in a relatively short time-frame, her lovely writings are filled with humor, truth, and light.

To continue the nomination, here are seven random facts about me:

  1. I grew up thinking I must be adopted given my strawberry-blonde locks and hippie name—an outcast stuck in the middle of an Irish-Catholic family of dark-haired relatives all with Irish names.
  2. The Husband and I have known one another since 1986 (when I was in fifth grade, and he in seventh). I harbored a secret love for him since I was 14. I finally won him over in 2001.
  3. I love classical music and wish I still played the violin and trombone.
  4. When I began writing, poetry was my prose of choice. Currently, creative nonfiction is my favored genre.
  5. My favorite Pandora stations to write to are “Downton Abbey” and “Sarah McLachlan”.
  6. Twice in my early twenties, I worked as a nanny/mother’s helper. Both experiences shaped my vision of love and parenting. I’m forever grateful to those wonderful families for trusting me with their precious ones and teaching me through their unique familial ways.
  7. I still yearn to open a quaint bookstore of my own.

Here are fifteen bloggers I admire and nominate for the One Lovely Blog award:

http://foreverforalwaysnomatterwhat.com/

http://motherhoodandwords.com/

http://mysnoopygirl.blogspot.com/

http://mumfullness.blogspot.com/

http://motheringthemanic.com/

http://heidihesssaxton.wordpress.com/

http://bottledponderings.blogspot.com/

http://readinginterrupted.com/

http://rosemaryandreadingglasses.com/

http://snoringscholar.com/

http://strokeofgrace.blogspot.com/ and http://hannahshopebook.blogspot.com/

http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/

http://www.mybrokenfiat.com/blog

http://www.truthbeautyandgoodnessintheworks.blogspot.com/

http://realcatholicmom.com/

It’s a simple, kind act to pass on the honor of the One Lovely Blog award. Here’s how it works (courtesy of Natalie):

  1. Thank the person who nominated you for the award.
  2. Add the One Lovely Blog logo to your post.
  3. Share 7 facts/or things about yourself.
  4. Nominate about 15 bloggers you admire and inform nominees by commenting on their blog.

 

source: quotespictures.com

 

Living Intentionally in 2014

07 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by in Blessings, Change, Forgiveness, Infertility, Miscarriage, New Year's Resolutions, Past, Peace, Perspective, Snow day!, Writing, Writing routine

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Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850

I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.  ~Henry Moore

It’s that time of year, one resplendent with making promises to ourselves that this new year will be better than the last. It’s an awesome, positive time of year despite that the good intentions might be laced with bitter despair by looking back on all that went wrong in a previous year. In 2013, I was facing emotional and physical trials that put an abrupt end to any worthy resolution I had in mind for the year as I began with joyful anticipation of focusing on growing my family and writing my motherhood stories. Instead, I spent my days and months fighting to get my body, mind, and spirit back. It was an exhausting feat, but I survived and once again, the wounds of despair have made me a stronger, kinder, more resilient being. The writing, in fact, saved me.

Writing is therapy.

Writing is therapy.

The first week of 2014 has found me locked up indoors tending to my three children, all whom fell ill in a staggered progression that began with a quick onset of fever and chills, moved to various stomach ails, and was followed by a brutal, lingering head and chest cold. Now we are all stuck inside a little while longer due to the unsightly arctic blast growling outside. No school, no recreational activities, no heading out for us. There are blessings in being grounded together for a couple more days. Not only do the kids have some extra time to recoup, but I’ve found ample time to reflect on what I want differently out of today, tomorrow, and the days ahead. At the top of my priorities for this new year?  Cutting myself some slack and worrying less about the future. Living less in my mind and more in the present.  Lacerating my tendency toward undue anxiety and negative self-talk. Deeper, mindful breathing. Allowing myself to move slowly and deliberately as long as I’m heading forward and onward to a better self, life, and sense of purpose.

Slow down and live life more fully.

Slow down and live life more fully.

What do you have in mind for your new year? How do you want to live differently just for today?  

Grateful for Family, Friends, and Faith: Days 8-10 (30 Days of Thanks)

10 Sunday Nov 2013

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, Blessings, Change, Friendship, Lifelong friends, Love, Past, Perspective, Prayers

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In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~ Albert Schweitzer

The weekend was full of great and wonderful things, and for this reason, I gladly stepped away from the computer for a couple of days. My Friday through Saturday was spent enjoying time with out-of-town guests—some friends of mine who have always felt like family to me since our first encounter one fall day many years ago. That day would prove to be a fateful one for all of us involved. They came into my life at a time when they needed someone to help them out in enormous ways due to an unfortunate health crisis that they neither expected nor would be prepared to face alone.

Fresh out of college, I had a couple of going-nowhere jobs, was deeply discouraged, and felt lost in the world–stuck, really. Facing rapid burn-out and the dying-out of out of my idealistic nature, I yearned for a gap year. I needed the time to think and plan out how I was going to refocus my career efforts to match my personal goals. At the time, I knew I could always earn money as bookseller or in a café position at the local Barnes and Noble, perhaps pick up a server job on the side as I embarked on this necessary quest to utilize my degree in a meaningful way. When I took the time to ask myself and pray about what I was seeking, my answer was always the same: truth, meaningful experiences, significant internal change, love, and to make a difference in someone else’s life.

After mass one Sunday, I scoured the want ads and came across a job posting for a nanny position. Because I had worked as a mother’s helper between my junior and senior years of college, held plenty of babysitting jobs back home, and thought it might be just the type of work that could be equal parts fulfilling and fun for the year, I phoned the agency and landed an interview with this family on the spot. Soon thereafter, I was employed as their full-time nanny and fully immersed in their life as it was back then–a mix of crisis and relief, ongoing medical and therapeutic interventions, and the everyday happenings of a family trying to balance out normal during a shocking and trying time. Immediately, they enveloped me with their characteristically loving way and I soon became one of them. Quickly, I felt nothing but gratitude and love each day as I set about helping them to maintain some kind of normalcy while they focused on reviving the health and well-being of their young girls. At the time, I didn’t know just how much my heart, mind, and spirit would be stretched; how I would grow as a person and how greatly my perspective would change just by living among this one, incredible family. Nor, did I have any idea that fourteen years later this family would remain such a large part of my life.

If we are lucky enough in life, we will meet one person who will be the catalyst to our personal growth. Their impact will leave indelible marks on our hearts, perhaps change our behaviors, even increase our faith in love and God. These are the types of people who stick with us for always–whether they continue to share in our life or not. Some people can shape and mold us into who we’re meant to become. These friends of mine who came in for a visit this past weekend helped change my life and perspective years ago by living out their lives with integrity and care. They worked hard at putting their family and love above all else during an especially difficult time in their lives. They are friends who became like a second family to me and I’ll always consider them such.

Fourteen  years ago, I was seeking out an intense life-changing experience, one that would lead me out of the depths of my despair and into the light of life, turning me toward the path I was meant to take. My prayers were answered in the form of this one family seeking a trustworthy helper while they faced an uncertain, desperate time. I’m not sure if they knew it then or have figured it out since, but I needed them that year just as much as they needed me. My gratitude today is for their enduring friendship and all the lessons they etched on my heart, mind, and soul.

In Gratitude for Adoption: Giving Thanks Day Six (30 Days of Thanks)

06 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, Adoption, Blessings, Infertility, Love, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Mothers & Daughters, Parenting, Personal health, Prayers

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However motherhood comes to you, it’s a miracle. ~ Valerie Harper, Adoptive parent

About nine months after my husband and I were married, we felt ready to begin a family. Unfortunately, our journey to parenthood came with unexpected struggle, a litany of infertility issues and repeat miscarriages. (We lost our first four children in that time: Agnes Elizabeth, April 2004; Julian Olivia, June 2005; Max Kolbe, April 2006; and Catherine Teresa, December 2006.) During these years of trying to conceive again and again in hopes of finally carrying a child to term, I went through the ringer to become a mother.

During those trying years, my arms became permanently black and blue with bruises from the countless multiple blood draws I endured to check hormone levels and to rule out other serious health issues. I became an NFP charting expert and obsessed with the healthiest, most natural ways to eat, take care of my body, and become pregnant.  I had laparoscopic surgery and was diagnosed with Stage III Endometriosis. Soon thereafter, I started a regime of Clomid and trigger shots of hCG to boost my body’s ability to ovulate and produce the hormones it was lacking to sustain a pregnancy. During those cycles I swallowed ovulation-inducing medicines and became a pro at hormone injections, I gained weight and felt ill most of the time. Down went the pills and painful injections were endured–graciously, in fact–all for the sake of becoming a mother.

Because I reached the maximum dosage without a successful pregnancy, I had to stop the Clomid and trigger shots of hCG. Shortly thereafter is when I found a disturbingly large lump on my right breast. After seeing my doctor, I was sent to the women’s clinic for a full work-up of tests and procedures which ultimately resulted in a biopsy of the lump. Not only was I dealing with infertility and losing babies, I now had my first breast cancer scare. (Thankfully it was only a cyst, but even the surgeon who operated on me was seriously concerned. In the years since, I have found two more lumps.)

To compound the pain and the struggle we were experiencing for the sake of parenthood, my immediate and extended family were suffering greatly, too. In the span of three years, we lost my father to his sixteen-month long battle with small-cell lung cancer, and said our good-byes to two uncles, and my maternal grandparents, as well. It was a somber time.

Through it all, The Husband and I kept hoping and praying for children. We certainly discussed adoption, but had not explored it until one fateful September day when the answer to our prayers came in the form of an evening phone call. A familiar voice spoke to us on the other line. A child needed a loving home and were we open to adoption? Miracle of all miracles, our answer was an exuberant, “Yes!” Nine months from that incredible phone call, we would be fostering to adopt The Girl. We were full of gratitude and joy to be given this chance, and to open our hearts and home to this child in need.

The first Thanksgiving with The Girl in our home was a memorable one for obvious reasons. However, our joy increased a few days later when I discovered that I was, miraculously, pregnant again! A little over nine months later, we welcomed home The Boy. The Girl had a sibling! We had a son! Eight months after his birth, The Girl’s adoption was finalized. We felt blessed beyond compare to have witnessed two miracles in our lifetime, and that we were finally parents as we’d always hoped to be.

I touted over social media today that I was grateful for adopting my oldest child. She has stretched my heart and spirit by her love and many challenges. It’s not always “rainbows and butterflies” around here, but the trying times are the ones that increase our hearts, minds, and spirits tenfold. Adoption is a blessing despite the many challenges it brings. I would not have it any other way.

Honestly, I would go through the struggle over and over again—for her, for us—to start my family by fostering then finally adopting this amazingly complex, beautiful and gifted person–this daughter of mine–who herself makes me a better mom and better person, truly. If you ever had an inkling to foster or adopt, I urge you to look into welcoming a child into your home. Adoption can change lives for the better.

Giving Thanks Despite Not Wanting To: Giving Thanks Day Five (30 Days of Thanks)

05 Tuesday Nov 2013

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, Blessings, Perspective, Tough days

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The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning, I arose with a burdened mind and saddened heart. It was tough getting up to face the day. It is why I posted on social media that on days like today, I am thankful to be participating in a challenge to be mindful of my efforts to have a greater focus on growing in gratitude and grace. On the toughest days, the ones that feel like I am trudging along desperately wading through muddy emotional waters with a mucky attitude at best, it’s close to impossible to cultivate gratitude from within.

My faith and life experience have saved me time and again in moments such as these—the unfortunate days, the emotional hours, the moments in which I wished I did not have to face anyone or anything.  On these exceptionally trying days, like today, I find for gratitude’s sake, it’s best to have a mental time-out. By closing my eyes and calmly focusing on the blessings swirling around me, by taking a few moments to just stop, be still, and let go, I find there is always good to be noticed—so much goodness all around me.

An intentional, handwritten note of blessings for which I want to give thanks is good practice, too. Here is today’s list:

  • snuggle time with the kids before getting the morning started
  • a refrigerator full of fresh, wholesome food
  • good friends and neighbors
  • tea time while the kids happily play together in the toy room
  • a working van with a half-full tank of gas
  • that the kids attend safe, attentive, proactive schools filled with caring, intelligent teachers
  • a delicious lunch of a Greek salad and Hearth-Roasted Veggie Sandwich (both made without the cheese, because I’m weird like that!)

Practicing intentional gratitude comes easily to me with daily practice. It is only in combination with prayer and grace, the advice of a skilled therapist, and the love of my husband and family that I can climb out of the deep to acknowledge there is always something to be thankful for—anything–if even just to notice the clearness of the blue sky above, the sweetness found in an unprompted smile of a child, or the incomprehensible fact that I am given this messy, real life to live. Realizing all that I have in this life, in spite of the hardships I face, is more than enough reason for me to express gratitude and continue about my imperfectly blessed life living it out loud in the name of love and thanksgiving.

Making Time for Each Other: Giving Thanks Day Three (30 Days of Thanks)

04 Monday Nov 2013

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, Attachment parenting, Blessings, Love, Memories, Motherhood, Mothers & Daughters, Mothers & Sons

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Don’t wait to make your son a great man – make him a great boy. ~ Author Unknown

And mothers are their daughter’s role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships. ~ Victoria Secunda

This morning, I wanted nothing more than to linger under the white feather down comforter covering my always-too-cold body. My morning-tangled strawberry-blonde tresses were sprawled all over the pillows three in a line across the width of the queen sized bed that I share with my husband, and most nights with Baby Girl snuggled in between us. Daylight Savings Time did not allow for a grand morning sleep-in, unfortunately. Even with an extra hour on the clock, I was sluggish in starting the day. Commitments of Sunday Mass and Sunday school class for The Boy were calling out to The Husband and me to get our act together. All I really wanted to do, truth be told, was spend the chilly day in my pajamas, drink tea, and read from my Kindle.

Because I’m not a member of the Crawley family, I returned to reality and willed myself to get a move on. It helped that The Kids brought up breakfast to me (as is their sweet custom on Sunday mornings) before rushing through the rest of my get-ready-and-be-somewhat-presentable-about-it routine involving a lightning-quick shower and changing clothes a few times before comfort won over and I felt just alright about my appearance. By the time my menial transformation was complete, I felt equipped to manage The Kids’ dressing and grooming routines while The Husband stole a few moments to himself.

It’s becoming easier, the Sunday routine. For the less-hectic pace, I am thankful. More often than I would like to admit, however, I kind of long for the time I spent a few years ago sacrificing my own set beautifying pattern for nursing an infant just one more time before heading out the door to church. On Sunday mornings, I feel my arms at their emptiest.

For years now, The Girl no longer needs my help with dressing or self-care. She only looks to me now for verification that her outfit and hair are presentable. Lately, the only reason The Boy comes to me for any kind of help is because he’s been operating without the use of his right arm due to a bad fall off of his bike while I was away in Martha’s Vineyard. Next Friday, he gets the full arm cast removed and will be back to regulation speed in no time and needing my help less and less. The most assistance Baby Girl wants anymore is in wrestling on her always-pink patterned tights, or untangling the mess of a knot in the back of her curly, blonde tresses. She’s mastering buttoning, zipping, brushing teeth, and all other bathroom situations. Where does the time go?  It’s a scary thought–frightening, honestly–to think that one day I might need my kids more than they need me. Is that even possible?

Being that I’m a mom of three children of various ages and stages, it’s difficult to find time for myself, but even trickier to carve out time to spend with each child separately. Presently, Baby Girl gets the most individual time with me for the very fact that she is in school for only a couple of hours on Friday mornings. (I am more in love with my kids every single new day, but having two hours to myself every week has been life-altering. A huge change for me. No joke.) Anyway, when the complaints start rolling in that they need some “special mommy time”—complaints heard mostly from The Girl and The Boy—I remind them that I had daily alone time with both of them before the other was born. The Girl had a straight run of fifteen months with me all to herself between the time she was permanently placed with us and before her baby brother was born. And, since The Girl was in preschool most days by the time he was born, The Boy actually enjoyed twenty-seven months of mommy-son time before becoming a big brother. Now, I tell them, it’s Baby Girl’s time to have own succession of mommy-daughter time. When the grievances become prevalent, though, spoken loud and clear without mistake, I abruptly tune in and take note that now is the time to start making more of an effort to ensure that each of them gets a few minutes of my undivided attention daily.

Special, daily alone time with each of my three children is fantastic—even if it’s just for a few minutes to talk about their day, read a chapter from a book, or complete a puzzle together. What’s even better, though? Extra-special “dates” with each them.  Ever since the school year started, Baby Girl and I share a weekly lunch at a neighborhood Asian-fusion restaurant so she can eat her favorite dish, “Broccoli and rice, please. No chicken. Just broccoli and rice” as I enjoy a delicious cup of wonton soup and side dish of steamed mixed vegetables. The Girl and I have our time together monthly on a Friday when we make our way home from one of her routine doctor appointments. We’ll stop for a treat—a dairy-free fruit smoothie in the warmer months and hot teas when the weather chills—and we just talk and talk in the van as I fight against the traffic from downtown to our home. (Or–confession time–sometimes we just crank up the music on her One Direction album to pass the time away.)

A couple of weeks ago, I started volunteering in The Boy’s Kindergarten Sunday School class. Ever since, we have started a new trend of sharing lunch together while The Husband and the girls have their own lunch together at home. It’s a win-win. Today was an especially good date with my only living son. He pulled out all his charms, asked for many hugs, even held my hand a few times! I’m not naïve, I know that these “dates” might one day too soon become more of a treat only for me and more of a chore for The Kids to attend. But just for today, I am grateful for them whether we are just spending an ordinary day together or heading out for an extra-special treat.

Today, I posted on social media that “I am grateful for weekly Sunday afternoon dates with my son. His sweet nature and joyful disposition are contagious.”  My hope is that my children never doubt how much I admire each one of them and appreciate their interesting company. I hope they never–not for one day–question the joy that their lives bring to mine.