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Taking a Sad Song, Making it Better

~ Discovering joy amid pain

Taking a Sad Song, Making it Better

Category Archives: Chasing Dreams

In Thanksgiving for Literature and Literary Spots

08 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by purdywords in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Authors, Books, Chasing Dreams, Memories, Peace, Reading, Thankfulness, Writing

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#30DaysofThanks, 30 Days of Thanks, Books, Bookstores, Creativity, Giving Thanks, Gratitude, Inner peace, Inspiration, Libraries, Life lessons, Literature, Living intentionally, Memories, Peace, Poetry, Poets, Reading, Seeking joy, Writing

I lived in books more than I lived anywhere else. ~Neil Gaiman

 

Truth: When I was a young girl, I had recurring nightmares about being caught inside a burning house and not escaping until I could figure out how to save my books. This revelation quite possibly tells you enough about me that I should stop writing now! Nevertheless, I persist in written expression of my deepest gratitude to all the authors of the literature I have read over my lifetime and for those I can hardly wait to read. Interwoven into thanksgiving for books, I am eternally grateful for the peace I feel every time I enter a library or bookstore. So much so, that I will forever seek out literary spots wherever life finds me and take a piece of their shelves home with me in eager anticipation of visiting the world of words set between the pages of each and every gift of a book.

Just for fun, here is a sampling of some of my favorite bookstores I have encountered in my travels and places I have lived:

  • Brookline Booksmith, Brookline, MA:  https://www.brooklinebooksmith.com/
  • Mitchell’s Book Corner, Nantucket Island, MA:  http://www.mitchellsbookcorner.com/
  • Paragraphs Bookstore, Mt. Vernon, OH:  https://paragraphsbookstore.indielite.org/
  • The Book Loft of German Village, Columbus, OH:  http://bookloft.com/
  • The Book Nook & Java Shop, Montague, MI:  http://www.thebooknookjavashop.com/
  • The Kenyon College Bookstore, Gambier, OH:  https://www.shopkenyon.com/

Please, leave a comment and tell me about your favorite bookshops!

 

Some books leave us free and some books make us free. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Thankfulness for the Simple Joys

05 Sunday Nov 2017

Posted by purdywords in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Change, Chasing Dreams, Inspiration, Journaling, Laptops, Peace, Personal Challenges, Personal health, Perspective, Seasons, Stress & Anxiety, Suffering, Thankfulness, Tough days, Writing, Writing Goals

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#30DaysofThanks, 30 Days of Thanks, Anxiety, Challenges, Creativity, Cultivating joy, Discipline, Family time, Gratitude, Healing, Inner peace, Inspiration, Laptop, Living intentionally, Peace, Seeking joy, Simple Joys, Simple Living, Simplicity, Time, Writing

“I have learned over a period of time to be almost unconsciously grateful–as a child is–for a sunny day, blue water, flowers in a vase, a tree turning red. I have learned to be glad at dawn and when the sky is dark. Only children and a few spiritually evolved people are born to feel gratitude as naturally as they breathe, without even thinking. Most of us come to it step by painful step, to discover that gratitude is a form of acceptance.” ~ Faith Baldwin

 

Today woke me to a somber mood that mirrored the gray Ohio skies outside my door. The wind is blowing away the temperate climate now by beckoning and ushering in the cold that will last for days on end. We won’t see sun until the end of the week, I’m afraid.

How might I feel an ounce of gratitude on such a dismal day? I light an autumn-scented soy wax candle and allow the glow of the orange flame to warm up the house with its ambiance and fragrant aroma. I answer a phone call from a sibling and feel gladdened by the goodness of spirit in the sound of his voice, and pleased we’ve made plans to be together on Thanksgiving Day. I sit with a steaming cup of tea and conjure up a dinner menu that will include my favorite roasted vegetables. I journal through my anxiety, type away the fear, and continue editing my essays that remain in-progress by diligently writing closer to completion.

My gratitude today is rooted in having a creative craft to focus on, noticing the plain and uncomplicated blessings that cultivate joy, and that my eyes, mind and heart are made open-wide by the gifts of simplicity.

 

“Forget about the money for a moment. Lose yourself in the wilderness, listen to the music of the softly blowing winds, feel the rain on your bare skin, let the mountains take the burden off your shoulders.” ~Kiran Bisht

 

In Gratitude for Love and Marriage

02 Thursday Nov 2017

Posted by purdywords in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Chasing Dreams, Love, Marriage, Memories, Past, Perspective, Seasons, Thankfulness, The Husband, Uncategorized

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#30DaysofThanks, 30 Days of Thanks, Catholic Marriage, December, Family time, Inspiration, Love, Marriage, Memories, Seasons, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving, Wedding Anniversary, Winter

“I heard a bird sing in the dark of December. A magical thing. And sweet to remember. We are nearer to Spring than we were in September. I heard a bird sing in the dark of December.” ~ Oliver Herford

 
Increasing our gratitude efforts in the month of November can allow us to reflect back on moments that have strengthened and blessed us, or forward thinking to events and anniversaries that fill us with a happy light. Next month, my husband and I will celebrate 15 years of marriage, and for this phenomenal event, I am eternally grateful. Today, I am giving all thanks to my wonderful husband. For without him, I’d be devoid of the feeling and experience of unconditional, sacramental, true love.

We were married on a snowy evening in mid-December. It was magical, ethereal, lovely. My fondness for the month of December runs deep. When the snowfall begins lightly and lovely, as soft flakes of iridescent beauty swirl and float with ease, a sparkling backdrop to the darkened sky, I am filled with a special sort of nostalgia–an essence my husband and I wanted to emulate and capture as we pledged ourselves to each other for a lifetime on our wedding day. 

The beauty rooted in the winter season brings forth quiet stillness, gentle peace, and a warmth discovered by being wrapped in the arms of your beloved. Despite the cold and the dark, there remains an elegance in winter if only we will ourselves to set forth and seek it out. As long as life gets cold and gray or seems bleak and frozen in despair, it helps to have a loved one by your side for all of the ups and downs life inevitably brings. The holidays in the month of December allow ample chance for us to give and receive thoughtful gifts and greetings of love, peace and joy that will ease the burdens and struggles with pure reasons to hope and annual opportunities to partake in spreading love. For me, each December represents all of this and more, most importantly, a purposeful reason to rejoice for the love burning deep within my heart for my husband, my beloved, my number one.

I’m one lucky lady.

In terms of my marriage, you know, falling in love with my husband was by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me. ~ Caroline Kennedy

Motherhood and Finding the Time to Write and Create

26 Thursday Oct 2017

Posted by purdywords in Chasing Dreams, Inspiration, Journaling, Motherhood, Personal Challenges, Seasons, Writing, Writing Goals, Writing routine

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Challenges, Creativity, Inspiration, Motherhood, Motherhood stories, Parenting, Sacred Writing Time, Time, Writing

“…there is nothing you can buy, achieve, own, or rent that can fill up that hunger inside for a sense of fulfillment and wonder. But the good news is that creative expression, whether that means writing, dancing, bird-watching, or cooking, can give a person almost everything that he or she has been searching for: enlivenment, peace, meaning, and the incalculable wealth of time spent quietly in beauty.” ~ Anne Lamott

 

The local library where I live brings to town many well-known and accomplished authors. A few years ago, I was one of many in the crowded auditorium at the central high school mere miles from my neighborhood where these literary events are held and the author of a favorite novel was the guest speaker. My memory serves that this author’s talk on writing was exceptional, especially the bits about how her stories came to life and how her writing life came to fruition. She was gracious in her answers during the Q & A, one of which I posed, a version of, “How did she find the time to write with children underfoot?” In so many words, she prescribed that you must write any chance you can get, master writing to the background noise and chaos, scrawl away during short spurts of free time, and urged not to wait for the ‘perfect’ conditions conducive to writing because they will rarely appear and the writing will never happen. What I took from her eloquent answer (more precisely delivered than I am reiterating to you) is that if you are a mother longing to write (or create in any artistic endeavor) then you must accept that you must write to the cadence of the season you are in, and weave the craft into the fabric of your daily life, willing to adjust and change your writing tempo as your children change and grow along side of you.

If you are a mother-writer and struggling to find the time to write, here are a few simple suggestions to help you carve out more time for your writing and that have worked for me:

Take a break, and give yourself a break.

There will be days, weeks, and even months that you won’t be able to carve out one minute for writing, and that’s alright. Don’t berate yourself. Embrace the peaks and valleys. Invite the rest in and allow the time off to invigorate your senses. It’s quite allowable to take time off from writing, and preferred, if I might add. After all, living your life and experiencing the world around you will only improve your creative abilities.

Quite by choice, summers are the most challenging time in my writing calendar. Since I don’t employ a daycare facility, a part-time sitter or nanny, the warm summer months around my house are full and well-enjoyed, even on days when camps and classes aren’t on the schedule. Along with my children, I prefer to soak up as much sun as possible while we are blessed with the Vitamin D producer, and the vibrancy of kids enjoying their months of freedom is something I don’t want to miss out on–especially while they are still so young. This is where personal journaling and keeping notebooks nearby come in handy. When there are chunks of time that I don’t feel like powering up the laptop, though want to record my thoughts, ideas, recollections, observations, and experiences, then I journal. I find that the break from typing also helps to refuel my creativity in pertinent ways. Never once have I felt regret for relishing in the days off.

Write at a time of day that works for you.

Although I would love to tell you to set your alarm an hour earlier than your first child wakes up, this has never worked for me. I’m not now, and doubtful ever will be, a morning person. When I was on a writer’s retreat, I insisted I wake up at 5:00 AM every morning to start writing, and I did. However, I did not have the pressing urgency of a child to attend to that week, either. I was there for myself and had only myself to take care of during five, blissful, writing-centered days. It was my opportunity to utilize as much time to write–and I took the gift of being there seriously, not wanting to waste the opportunity. That was three years ago, and I have yet to replicate that early morning habit so easily enacted on an island miles and miles away surrounded by other women-mother-writers. What I have continued is the discipline and confidence earned, and the ability to be flexible with both myself and my writing process.

Please, do not feel obligated to wake an hour earlier than your family does if the extra sleep is vital to your emotional, physical, and mental well-being–especially if you have young toddlers or school-aged children as I do. In this time of my life, it is more important that I sleep in after nursing Baby Boy in the early morning hours. After we rise and ready for the day, eat our breakfast and clear up, then I can think about some writing if our schedule permits. Don’t neglect your health and essential needs, nor those of your children, for the sake of your craft. It’s a recipe for failure. Instead, take care of yourself and children first, and pockets of writing time will appear, I promise. (Just my two cents.)

Let them see you write.  

If you have young children at home able to entertain themselves for a while, take advantage of late morning play time and make that your daily writing time. After I have finished in the kitchen, and perhaps have even started a load of laundry, I set my toddler up nearby with some favorite toys and I write in my journal while sipping my first cup of tea of the day. This has become my almost-daily practice of emptying my head of the noise and clutter inside, or when I may flesh-out ideas for the book I’m working on, conceptualize upcoming blog posts, or even free-write. I keep my journal nearby for reference, and it’s a daily practice I’ll never reject. (By the way, these are my favorite ones.)

Cultivate ideas during their nap time.

If you’re lucky enough to have a child that still naps, I’d love to know your secret! When The Boy was younger, he was a champion napper. It gave me ample time for freelance projects and personal, creative pursuits. Baby Boy is rejecting his nap time most days, I’m sad to say. So for now, I take a midday walk with him and use this time to commune with nature and let my thoughts run free. I highly recommend an afternoon walk for some fresh air and the chance to gather eclectic ideas for your creative endeavors. During most of these walks, my son will doze off for a short time. By the time I return home and transfer him out of the stroller and back inside, I have only a brief time for writing before the older children arrive at their bus stop at the end of the school day. This is the toughest time for me to write. Nevertheless, I strive to utilize that time for me and my writing, if even for thirty minutes, or less. Thirty minutes spent writing is better than writing nothing at all.

Burn the midnight oil, but only if that works for you.

During my younger days, I was a night owl. In my forties, though, I am slowing down in the evening and feel that my writing time is wasted after a certain hour. My wonderful husband will handle baths and the nighttime routine. If given the choice, I honestly choose to exercise most evenings rather than write because a brisk walk or fitness class helps me to decompress in a healthier way. Though, if the weather is uncooperative, or I’ve had ample time to exercise during the day (which is rare), I will plant myself at my desk to scrawl or type away. On the nights I write (like tonight), it’s usually time well-spent. Anymore, I like to have my computer turned off by 8:00 PM so that I can unwind with my husband and rest my mind. I am confident that the writing pieces swirling around my head after hours won’t flitter away into the abyss of forgetfulness, and this schedule helps me to acquire the essential sleep I need to meet, God-willing, another full and challenging day of motherhood.

Designate and schedule one, non-negotiable chunk of time per week for creating.

Lastly, I have declared the mid-week morning that Baby Boy attends nursery school for two-and-a-half-hours as “Sacred Writing Time.” Sacred Writing Time is designated and guaranteed; the only moments in my week that are non-negotiable, set aside for writing and only writing. During these couple of hours, I do not take phone calls (except from my children’s schools), nor do I read, shop, set appointments, clean, etc… Making this time a priority and only for writing has been a gift and game-changer in my life as a mother-writer. Knowing I will write at least two hours a week takes the pressure off during my busiest weeks taking care of all the essential motherhood tasks, caring for sick kids, running to and from appointments, and more. “Sacred Writing Time” is just that, sacred, and I take it quite seriously. Once I return home from preschool drop-off, I am eagerly at my computer without delay.

For further inspiration about how to carve out the time to write while entrenched in the glories of motherhood, or distracted by your presently busy life, please look no further than to these, more seasoned and reliable writers than I:

http://www.sunset.com/travel/anne-lamott-how-to-find-time by Anne Lamott

https://jamesclear.com/daily-routines-writers by James Clear

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-menkedick-literary-value-of-motherhood-20170416-story.html by Sarah Menkedick

https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/writing-motherhood  by Marcelle Soviero

If inspired to, please comment on how you carve out time in your week for your creative pursuits. As always, thank you for reading and happy writing!

 

“We are all carrying so many things in our life and inside ourselves. Often it feels there is no place to put them down. Where do you place the questions you carry” ~ Sabrina Ward Harrison, Spilling Open: The Art of Becoming Yourself

 

Steadfast Simplicity

08 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by purdywords in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Change, Chasing Dreams, Forgiveness, Glorifying God, Inspiration, Intentional Living, New Year New You, New Year's Resolutions, Past, Peace, Perspective, Simple Living, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

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Change, Chasing your Dreams, Minimalism, Positive change, Simple Living, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed — it is a process of elimination. ~Elbert Hubbard

Striving toward minimalism is finally letting go of everything, and looking forward in anticipation toward all that will be gained in choosing to live and embody a simpler lifestyle. And the choice to become a minimalist is as easy as declaring, “Today is the day!”  Stating, “Enough is enough!” Realizing, “All of this stuff is weighing me down and dragging my health and happiness along with it.” Then you begin. First, by grabbing a trash bag and choosing to conquer one room at a time, or even just the junk drawer for now.

Your life will never feel or look the same once you pledge to make the positive change once and for all. And that’s the beauty in simplified, minimalistic, conscious-living. No longer living this life of yours on auto-pilot, but discerning with purpose, and redefining success, wealth, happiness, and joy—on your own terms.

Gifting—not just giving—yourself the permission to live the life you’ve always dreamed of, answering that call to be your authentic self, being counter-cultural in so many facets, and essentially, finding your own groove will be just a handful of positive outcomes of choosing to simplify your life while you strive toward minimalism. There is freedom in stating a firm “no” to the world, and shouting a resounding, “yes!” to your heart. You’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner!

I have learned there is joy in making sound, rightful choices that stem from a place of peacefulness. That you’ll breed contentment in making these calm, conscious choices without a senseless environment to distract you, or the mind-clutter and unfounded fear within you obstructing the view. Note, there is humility in taking less for yourself and sharing that excess with others. You will walk, talk, and feel lighter with each new step on this minimalism journey. Simplifying is a satisfying soul cleanser, to say the least.

Take pride in how you define living a simpler life. Own what striving toward minimalism signifies to you in your own way. Don’t lose hope of what you’re starting. Work diligently, but gently and deliberately in all acts of simplifying and de-cluttering. Remind yourself that it’s all about balance—finding what works best for your life and heart. Choose now to live without all those things holding you back so that you can live the life you were meant to enjoy.

Looking ahead toward a New Year, don’t despair if this year’s attempts to redefine your lifestyle look completely different from the steps you plan to make on the journey toward minimalism in 2017. That’s the beauty in the pursuit of simplicity. Go at your own pace and don’t rush the process. It’s all about being intentional, after all. You’ll find your purposeful groove, and one day you’ll realize you’re living a minimalist, simpler way without giving much thought to how you got there.

Live your life simply, let go, follow your calling, forgive trespasses, and be set free. Regard yourself less and think of others more. Live your life in peace so that the light of love shines from within and reaches out to others.  Make your path to minimalism your own, but not without sharing that steadfast joy with others, and being grateful for the chance you’ve been gifted to change for the better.

Will you be striving toward minimalism in 2017? What small acts of simplifying and de-cluttering have yielded great, positive changes in your life?

 

A Song of Yourself

29 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by purdywords in Change, Chasing Dreams, Intentional Living, Memories, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Personal health, Perspective, Simple Living

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Change, Chasing your Dreams, Conquering fears, Living intentionally, Positive change

I CELEBRATE myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.

My tongue, every atom of my blood, form’d from this soil,
     this air,
Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and
     their parents the same,
I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin,
Hoping to cease not till death.

~ excerpted from Walt Whitman’s “A Song of Myself”

 

Think back on a time when you were most confident in yourself. Brave, steady, self-assured. Maybe it was the you of your youth. Maybe you were the top of your class. Stand-out football player. Star cheerleader. The lead in every school play. Maybe it was the day you landed your first real job, or jingled the keys to your own place. Maybe it was the day you boarded a plane to a faraway destination to trek in a foreign land. Maybe it was when you discovered you were actually quite good at creating poetry and others often told you how talented you were, and that you should publish a little book.

What would it take for you to allow yourself to feel that type of courage and vitality once again?  To live and breathe for your true self? Do you miss some integral part of your identity from the past? Truly, have you ever felt happy and free? If yes, then take yourself back there. Relish in the delight of your childhood, your happy place, your favorite day. If you can honestly say that you’ve never had even one moment of pure happiness, nor felt free to be yourself, then today is the day to make that moment happen. No delay.

Remind yourself, what were you like as a child? What was it that could hold your attention for hours on end? Maybe you were a romantic star-gazer. Maybe you sought solace by hiding away from the rest of your family, cuddled under the safety of a warm blanket, comforted by the company of characters in a borrowed library book that you literally couldn’t stop thinking about. Maybe you kicked the soccer ball against the side of your childhood home to relieve some teenage angst, but found your feet were sort of lost without the black and white ball between them to maneuver into a game-winning goal. Maybe your life would be miserable without the cool, wet rain on your face as you clocked another ten-mile run on a back country road.

What would you do with your time if you had zero responsibilities to tackle today? What if you could gift yourself a day like that? One day of freedom to roam, play, and dream. How would you spend a day like that? Where would you go and what would you do? Go ahead, daydream a little. Now, seriously consider making this one day happen. All for you. It’s not selfish, it’s not. You deserve to feel this type of deeply held joy.

What if you could arrange to do that one thing you once enjoyed, but have lost along the way? Would you dare dream such a moment can be yours once again? What’s holding you back? Please, don’t allow fears to be the culprit. I’d imagine your loved ones would be more than willing to help. It matters to become reacquainted with a piece of your heart and identity that you’ve buried away to responsiblity, embarrassment, or feeling like there is no time or place for it in your adult life. My guess is, if you only asked a loved one for their guidance, suggestions, and help in planning your one, special day, that they’d be flattered and quite pleased to lead the charge.

Do yourself a favor: stop slighting you. Believe, instead. Conquer those fears, squelch that nay-saying voice, hush the negative opposition to your lifelong dreams, your hidden passions, your happiness, and rightful joy.

Go ahead. Dream again, and chase those passions once more. You only live once. (We all know this.) Give yourself permission to make it a good one. (I promise. You won’t be sorry.)

 

What dream are you chasing? In the past, how have you made your dreams a reality? Do you ever feel that fear, anxiety, responsibilities, a negative inner-voice, or other’s expectations hold you back from going after your true passions in life? How would you spend the gift of one day devoted to pursuing your definition of pure joy? 

 

  • purdywords
    • 30 Days of Thanks, November 2020
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