Category Archives: Intentional Living

How to Give Without Giving Yourself Away

08 Thursday Oct 2020

Posted by in Books, Intentional Living, Personal health, Perspective, Rest, Seasons, Self-care, Simplicity, Stress & Anxiety, Tough days, Walking & Hiking

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Keep good company, read good books, love good things and cultivate soul and body as faithfully as you can. – Louisa May Alcott

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/298787-keep-good-company-read-good-books-love-good-things-and

Yesterday evening, I walked with a friend as our daughters ran at their cross-country practice. Last night, I chose reading and an earlier bedtime over all the usual nighttime rituals. I’m sure I made the right choice by not watching the Vice-Presidential Debate.

Every night I read a chapter in a devotional and one from a personal development book before continuing on with my current novel. This year, I’ve been reading Judith Orloff’s Thriving as an Empath. I came across this nugget of wisdom in her October 7th excerpt:

Stay aware of the empathic, caring people whom you admire, especially those who are dedicated to self-care. … See how they find satisfaction and joy. Observe how they give to others without giving themselves away.

https://drjudithorloff.com/thriving-as-an-empath/

The last few weeks haven’t gone as planned. That’s all I’m going to say about it. And I’m realizing I’ve been feeling out of balance. All my life, I’ve struggled with pouring out all my energy into supporting those around me to the detriment of my own needs. After years of practice, helpful therapy, and age-gained wisdom, I notice I catch myself quicker each time I throw myself toward other-care before complete burn-out occurs. Part of the learning process has been living intentionally, simplifying, seeking joy every day, and focusing on gratitude. Learning to let go and how to prioritize me over my to-do lists and everyone else’s wants has been liberating.

Although I still struggle with obligation to others and feeling self-indulgent, nothing terrible has ever happened because I chose to do something meaningful for myself once in awhile. When I stop and take the time to check in with myself, I’m always better for it and so are the ones I love. In the choosing of self, I’m reacquainted with my spirit and peace is restored.

My list of self-care practice is quite easy, minimal, unadorned. Yes, I’ve enjoyed spa days and the like, but for the day-to-day implementation of self-care, I choose practical over planned. Walks invigorate me. Nature heals me. Hot tea comforts me. Writing restores me. Checking in with a friend cheers me. Frequent massage improves me. Cooking enlivens me. Detox baths soothe me. Reading relaxes me.

On Tuesday, I was graced by a late morning walk with a childhood friend around a lake at a nearby park. This meet-up was more than just a three-mile trek with masks on and catching up. It was a commitment to being in the company of a dear friend on a beautiful fall day and a positive choice for feeding my soul. Another mid-week blessing came about in the spur of the moment. When I realized my neck and shoulders couldn’t tense up any more than they already had, I called my chiropractor’s office. Lo and behold, they had an hour-long massage available at the perfect hour of the day. I didn’t hesitate to take the open spot and it was the antidote I needed to the stress I’ve been carrying for awhile now.

On the schedule for today was a trip to the BMV. I don’t know exactly what I need today, but I know it doesn’t involve standing in line and waiting for an average of four hours to renew my driver’s license. I don’t know exactly what I need today, but it doesn’t involve scrolling through social media and upsetting the apple cart of my emotions on things out of my control. Grateful I have the freedom to push my BMV visit to next week and I can enact measures to take a break from the news and noise of the world, I’m looking forward to a long walk in the glorious autumnal sunshine as my reward, my reprieve. I’m choosing to listen to my needs. I’m choosing to indulge in a day off. I’m choosing nature. I’m choosing me.

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. – John Burroughs

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/32924-i-go-to-nature-to-be-soothed-and-healed-and

The Summer of Collected Memories

23 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by in Acceptance, Blessings, Change, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Family life, Inspiration, Intentional Living, Memories, Motherhood, Parenting, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Perspective, Rest, Seasons, Simple Living, Simplicity, Stress & Anxiety, Thankfulness, Travel

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” – John Lubbock

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/32939-rest-is-not-idleness-and-to-lie-sometimes-on-the

Facing a litany of summer let downs due to COVID-19, I became insistent my family, in our conscious efforts to slow down, mask up, and stay home, would still have a long list of positive memories. Oversimplified and less monumental than summers prior, it was imperative we gathered a collection of sweet, tangible experiences of our own to hold and enjoy. But, first, we would allow ourselves the space to mourn our personal disappointments: the canceled annual vacation, refunded summer camps, no pool days, declining offers to gather, not visiting loved ones with vulnerable health conditions, avoiding crowds and community, only attending virtual mass, and sorrowfully missing our friends and family. Then, we would rest and appreciate the slowness, embrace this time of stillness and isolation, and despite the litany of mourned losses, we would find a way to make the best of it—together. Although, at the beginning of this summer experiment I had rampant doubts about how we would pull it off, I believe we exceeded our goal and succeeded in our efforts to “discover joy amid the pain.”

Once virtual schooling came to a halt, my husband and I scoured Airbnb for in-state cottages and cabins to our liking, in our modest price range, and declared 2020 would be the season of locating the quaint and hidden gems nearby. The fruits of this idea did not disappoint. Intentionally, we spaced our bookings apart so we would have one adventure to look forward to every month of the summer. We filled in the downtime with ease by including treks to local parks, camping in our yard, gathering for family game nights, and letting the days unfold on their own. The choice to have a combination of planned getaways and unscheduled stretches of time spent at home attributed to a quite happy and wholesome break. By allowing ourselves the occasion to branch out toward sections of the state we’ve not visited before, and returning to the areas we favor, we discovered newfound delight in local exploration and realized ourselves more in awe of our awesome state and enamored with the town we live in.

Another unexpected advantage to the pandemic summer was the making of an outdoor retreat tucked away in the woods on the property where my husband grew up. Frequently when visiting my father-in-law, we’ve walked the area together—especially in the winter months when the overgrowth has fallen and our boots can crunch atop the frozen earth. The freedom we found this summer allowed my husband and children to embark on a project together, and they set about clearing out a more direct path from the house to the forest, lining the grassy lane with bits of wood and rock, and making the connection between the house and back property a more delightful experience for everyone involved. Now the children can roam and run free between the yard and faraway wood without the distress of thorny entanglements or fear of getting lost. The joy in carving out this special place has allowed us to share with our kids the type of summer fun we fondly remember having—hot summer days spent in outdoor intrigue, hours gone investigating the natural world, making outdoor revelations on our own, and finding a piece of oneself that can only be uncovered under the shade of a tree, breathing in the fresh air, one’s skin soaking up some Vitamin D. The chance to gift a piece of our past to our kids, to allow them to encounter for themselves the unhinged joys of a simplified and rural encounter, was an unexpected blessing of the summer—a highlight all of us agree upon.

Creating this hidden world for our family to treasure was also an opportunity for peaceful reclamation. Shielded from the cacophony of worldly anxieties, the forest cover has comforted and cocooned us as we dealt with the stressors surrounding and threatening us on a daily basis. Within the personalized hollow, we could forget it all for a little while. We hung up our hammocks between the trees as our Boy Scout practiced and refined his outdoor skills, our youngest daughter worked to identify plants and wildflowers and took polaroid pictures of whatever drew her eyes into focus, and our youngest son walked the length of logs, climbed atop piles of dirt and debris, and gathered sticks and rocks. Nearby, my husband delighted in working to improve the nature-given space, and I indulged in a new novel, read between the camp chair and a hammock, and wrote in my journal. We lit fires and ordered pizza for dinner, looked up at the sky and marveled at the blue, and listened to the symphony of sounds of rural Ohio as we bathed under the light filtering through the trees above us.

A few weeks ago, my kids donned masks on their faces and strapped backpacks to their bodies, climbed the stairs into their school bus and chose seats near one another, then waved good-bye to my husband and me as they drove off to the start of a new school year. I see a difference in each one of them and it’s not just their sun-kissed cheeks and golden highlights, not just the inches and pounds added to their frames, not just the new shoes and crisp uniforms. I believe the difference is apparent because they’re shining from the sound interconnectedness between them, made stronger from the calmness and maturity they’ve gained, are restored by the ability to be resolute and resilient in anxious times, and fully renewed from having spent a season seeking joy in the minuscule moments of life.

A new time has emerged now, and I’m looking forward to what discoveries await us in the autumnal season. I know there will be more silver linings to weave into our familial story, sweet memories to create together, and small, not insignificant, moments to cherish. As 2020 comes to a close—thankfully so—I’ll spend the next few months measuring the milestones, maintaining the closeness, and continuing to make the best of this unprecedented time by demonstrating to my kids how gratitude is possible even on the worst days and remaining intentional about reminding them: all we have is today. So, let’s live it well, while we can.

We have grown dull toward this world in which we live; we have forgotten that it is not normal or scientific in any sense of the word. It is fantastic. It is a fairy tale through and through. Elephants? Caterpillars? Snow? At what point did you lose your wonder of it all? – John Eldredge

https://www.outofstress.com/finding-joy-simple-things-quotes/

Thankfulness for Tiny Breaks

16 Thursday Nov 2017

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Birthdays, Blessings, Intentional Living, Lifelong friends, New Year New You, Peace, Personal health, Perspective, Rest, Simple Living, Simplicity, Thankfulness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

“Rest and be thankful.” ~ William Wordsworth

 

Three days ago, I had the pleasure of celebrating another 40-something birthday for which I am glad. My husband and children showered me with their love and attention, and I was thrilled to be surprised by a few handwritten cards in the mail from dear friends. To myself, I gave the gift of a deliberately slow week, taking my time through the most important tasks, letting the non-essentials go, moving away from the computer screen, cutting myself some slack, and indulging in some overdo self-care. I’m grateful to be more self-aware this year than I have ever been in the past, and that I honored this newfound truth on my birthday. Permission to rest may be the perfect gift one can give to thyself.  

 

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. ~ Ovid

 

Thankful for the Practical Things, for Wood Floors and Simple Living

07 Tuesday Nov 2017

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Catholic Parenting, Family life, Intentional Living, Love, Perspective, Simple Living, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism, Thankfulness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. ~ William Arthur Ward

 

The thanks I give today is for the wood floors found throughout the first floor of the home I share with my husband and children. Yes. Wood floors. These Brazilian-red, wide-set planks have seen better days and will need replacing in the next couple of years. Meanwhile, I can ignore the nicks and flaws and find something special in their worn-in beauty. For instance, that they have provided a steadfast platform for multiple levels of child’s play over the years, from babies on their tummy-time mats, to crawling and scooting toddlers working their way from stacking rings to building sturdy block towers, onto puzzle making, racing trains and cars, and now, presenting the base for elaborate card and board games.

Smooth in surface, these suffering floors offer wide, ample space for practicing ballet twirls, cartwheels and made-up cheers. Children will chase, tag, and hide from each other for fun from one end of the floor to the next. Often enough, the floorboards take quite a beating while we dance in the kitchen to emotion-chosen background music, our feet stomping and bodies moving free-form to the tunes that lighten our moods. So many footsteps of family and friends, neighbors and guests have walked the length of these floors, warming our home with their sheer presence and welcomed visits.

When the day is complete and nighttime falls, clean-up of these wood floors is quite simple and allows extra time in the evening for me to relax and catch-up with my husband after a long day spent apart. These floors in our home are the foundation from which we stand together. So, yes. Today, I am grateful for the luxury of having wood floors–the horizontal platform supporting the hard-won and love-filled living that preserves my beloved family together.

 

The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life’s plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.  ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

You are the light of the world

09 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Change, Election 2016, Glorifying God, Intentional Living, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Perspective, Prayer, Prayers, Tough days

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
~Seymour Miller & Jill Jackson, “Let There Be Peace on Earth,” 1955

 

It is a policy of mine to be neutral on this little blog, keeping the stories more about how I overcome my personal struggles, my path to a more peaceful and simpler life, and how I seek out joy in little ways. However, I do want to share with you the words that I posted to my personal Facebook account this morning, since it was received with much positive response:

“No matter if you are feeling shocked and saddened, or overjoyed and triumphant about our president-elect, at the end of today, when the strength of our feelings have simmered down a bit, let us reflect on the fact that we are still Americans–free people so privileged and blessed to have all that we do living in this great nation of ours, especially in comparison to most of the world around us. Let’s not forget how we are called to love one another, despite the differences that divide us, and that our children are truly the future. Live your life with joy and integrity, help those less fortunate, be a light in the world, forgive each other, and offer peace and a smile as much as possible.”

 Maybe, the next four years look grim to you, with the bright horizon forever dimmed by the despair for where you think this country is headed. Try not to lose hope, reader friend. Maybe, the next four years looks bright and prosperous to you, defined by a positive change, and hope for what’s to come. My friend, please don’t lose focus of what is truly important. No doubt, America is headed in a new direction. And, we must brace ourselves for the unknown, and pray for a better tomorrow. At the end of the day, my hope is that most Americans still believe in all that holds true in “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” and the inherent goodness found in each of us.

Let’s not forget that peace and change begins with our individual selves. We can choose the good and spread that light between us. If each one of us could do that— make a habit of spreading that kind of light and love throughout our homes and communities—just imagine how beautiful our country would look in the afterglow of peace.

How can you be a light to the world around you? In what ways do you seek out joy in times of despair? 

Steadfast Simplicity

08 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by in 30 Days of Thanks, 30 Days of Thanksgiving, Blessings, Change, Chasing Dreams, Forgiveness, Glorifying God, Inspiration, Intentional Living, New Year New You, New Year's Resolutions, Past, Peace, Perspective, Simple Living, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed — it is a process of elimination. ~Elbert Hubbard

Striving toward minimalism is finally letting go of everything, and looking forward in anticipation toward all that will be gained in choosing to live and embody a simpler lifestyle. And the choice to become a minimalist is as easy as declaring, “Today is the day!”  Stating, “Enough is enough!” Realizing, “All of this stuff is weighing me down and dragging my health and happiness along with it.” Then you begin. First, by grabbing a trash bag and choosing to conquer one room at a time, or even just the junk drawer for now.

Your life will never feel or look the same once you pledge to make the positive change once and for all. And that’s the beauty in simplified, minimalistic, conscious-living. No longer living this life of yours on auto-pilot, but discerning with purpose, and redefining success, wealth, happiness, and joy—on your own terms.

Gifting—not just giving—yourself the permission to live the life you’ve always dreamed of, answering that call to be your authentic self, being counter-cultural in so many facets, and essentially, finding your own groove will be just a handful of positive outcomes of choosing to simplify your life while you strive toward minimalism. There is freedom in stating a firm “no” to the world, and shouting a resounding, “yes!” to your heart. You’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner!

I have learned there is joy in making sound, rightful choices that stem from a place of peacefulness. That you’ll breed contentment in making these calm, conscious choices without a senseless environment to distract you, or the mind-clutter and unfounded fear within you obstructing the view. Note, there is humility in taking less for yourself and sharing that excess with others. You will walk, talk, and feel lighter with each new step on this minimalism journey. Simplifying is a satisfying soul cleanser, to say the least.

Take pride in how you define living a simpler life. Own what striving toward minimalism signifies to you in your own way. Don’t lose hope of what you’re starting. Work diligently, but gently and deliberately in all acts of simplifying and de-cluttering. Remind yourself that it’s all about balance—finding what works best for your life and heart. Choose now to live without all those things holding you back so that you can live the life you were meant to enjoy.

Looking ahead toward a New Year, don’t despair if this year’s attempts to redefine your lifestyle look completely different from the steps you plan to make on the journey toward minimalism in 2017. That’s the beauty in the pursuit of simplicity. Go at your own pace and don’t rush the process. It’s all about being intentional, after all. You’ll find your purposeful groove, and one day you’ll realize you’re living a minimalist, simpler way without giving much thought to how you got there.

Live your life simply, let go, follow your calling, forgive trespasses, and be set free. Regard yourself less and think of others more. Live your life in peace so that the light of love shines from within and reaches out to others.  Make your path to minimalism your own, but not without sharing that steadfast joy with others, and being grateful for the chance you’ve been gifted to change for the better.

Will you be striving toward minimalism in 2017? What small acts of simplifying and de-cluttering have yielded great, positive changes in your life?

 

A Song of Yourself

29 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in Change, Chasing Dreams, Intentional Living, Memories, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Personal health, Perspective, Simple Living

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

I CELEBRATE myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.

My tongue, every atom of my blood, form’d from this soil,
     this air,
Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and
     their parents the same,
I, now thirty-seven years old in perfect health begin,
Hoping to cease not till death.

~ excerpted from Walt Whitman’s “A Song of Myself”

 

Think back on a time when you were most confident in yourself. Brave, steady, self-assured. Maybe it was the you of your youth. Maybe you were the top of your class. Stand-out football player. Star cheerleader. The lead in every school play. Maybe it was the day you landed your first real job, or jingled the keys to your own place. Maybe it was the day you boarded a plane to a faraway destination to trek in a foreign land. Maybe it was when you discovered you were actually quite good at creating poetry and others often told you how talented you were, and that you should publish a little book.

What would it take for you to allow yourself to feel that type of courage and vitality once again?  To live and breathe for your true self? Do you miss some integral part of your identity from the past? Truly, have you ever felt happy and free? If yes, then take yourself back there. Relish in the delight of your childhood, your happy place, your favorite day. If you can honestly say that you’ve never had even one moment of pure happiness, nor felt free to be yourself, then today is the day to make that moment happen. No delay.

Remind yourself, what were you like as a child? What was it that could hold your attention for hours on end? Maybe you were a romantic star-gazer. Maybe you sought solace by hiding away from the rest of your family, cuddled under the safety of a warm blanket, comforted by the company of characters in a borrowed library book that you literally couldn’t stop thinking about. Maybe you kicked the soccer ball against the side of your childhood home to relieve some teenage angst, but found your feet were sort of lost without the black and white ball between them to maneuver into a game-winning goal. Maybe your life would be miserable without the cool, wet rain on your face as you clocked another ten-mile run on a back country road.

What would you do with your time if you had zero responsibilities to tackle today? What if you could gift yourself a day like that? One day of freedom to roam, play, and dream. How would you spend a day like that? Where would you go and what would you do? Go ahead, daydream a little. Now, seriously consider making this one day happen. All for you. It’s not selfish, it’s not. You deserve to feel this type of deeply held joy.

What if you could arrange to do that one thing you once enjoyed, but have lost along the way? Would you dare dream such a moment can be yours once again? What’s holding you back? Please, don’t allow fears to be the culprit. I’d imagine your loved ones would be more than willing to help. It matters to become reacquainted with a piece of your heart and identity that you’ve buried away to responsiblity, embarrassment, or feeling like there is no time or place for it in your adult life. My guess is, if you only asked a loved one for their guidance, suggestions, and help in planning your one, special day, that they’d be flattered and quite pleased to lead the charge.

Do yourself a favor: stop slighting you. Believe, instead. Conquer those fears, squelch that nay-saying voice, hush the negative opposition to your lifelong dreams, your hidden passions, your happiness, and rightful joy.

Go ahead. Dream again, and chase those passions once more. You only live once. (We all know this.) Give yourself permission to make it a good one. (I promise. You won’t be sorry.)

 

What dream are you chasing? In the past, how have you made your dreams a reality? Do you ever feel that fear, anxiety, responsibilities, a negative inner-voice, or other’s expectations hold you back from going after your true passions in life? How would you spend the gift of one day devoted to pursuing your definition of pure joy? 

 

The Simplified Closet

20 Tuesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Capsule Wardrobe, Change, Inspiration, Intentional Living, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Perspective, Simple Living, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

You’ll never find something to wear that makes you feel beautiful, smart, or loved if you don’t believe that you already are. ~ Courtney Carver, Project 333

 

After I had completely weaned Baby Girl from breastfeeding, I was in desperate need of new clothes. Non-nursing clothes, to be exact! Even though I still had about eight pounds of pregnancy weight lingering on my frame, I was so ready to box up and donate what I had been wearing for almost two years and enjoy the freedom of dressing however I wanted. Clothing without restriction! What a dream! If I was lucky enough, toddler food stains would stay off of these enviable postpartum, post-nursing duds, too. Was it too much to ask to seek and find the mecca for all moms who just want to get the heck out of their sweatpants and wear something equally comfortable and affordable, but stylish and on-trend?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a knack for finding steals and deals at shops like Marshall’s, TJ Maxx, and Clothes Mentor. Though, I could not find the energy to sift through the racks there and pull together stylish outfits for myself during that time. I wished for just one day to shop, to get all that I needed, and not have to think about it again. For once, I wanted someone else to listen to my style likes, wants, and needs and then actually find the clothes perfect for me in my size, favorite colors, budget, and do it all for me within a reasonable couple of hours while the kids were at school! Short of having a ladies’ maid and personal shopper at my disposal, I felt that I was an out-of-luck, tired mom in desperate need of help in the closet department.

I found what I was looking for, however. It wasn’t that difficult to find, actually. The lucky salesperson listened to my pleas and met all the wardrobe requirements I rattled off to her:

“I don’t want to have to think when I open my closet door.”

“I want items that mix and match for multiple outfit options.”

“It’s important for me to dress comfortably so that I can chase around after my children.”

“I’d like to update my style a bit, in washable, non-ironing, organic materials, if possible.”

“And, by the way, I’m more natural than fashionista, love writing, reading, hiking, all shades of green, and my favorite seasons are autumn and spring.”

Apparently, not only was I seeking a personal stylist, but female-adult-level conversation, to boot! No wonder I was so willing to hand over the bundle of cash, and walk out feeling like a better version of myself.

I walked around mall shops in a daze while seeking the answer to feeling better about myself in an entire closet make-over. After a whirlwind tour, I came home with multiple tissue paper-filled bags in each hand, having blown all of my budget in only one or two stores. And I felt… what? Nothing. That’s right, nothing different. Maybe even a little empty and disappointed in myself.

Yes, I was exhilarated having just experienced the rush of a shopper’s high. Yes, I had some nice outfits that would encourage me to dress a little better and present myself well in the public eye. Though, I didn’t feel transformed in any way. And to be quite honest, that’s what I was hoping for, to be magically transformed by a mere trip to the mall. It took me far too long to understand the fault in my thoughts and ways.

It would take the next four years for me to feel a true caterpillar-turned-butterfly moment had taken place inside of me. This magical transformation would have little to do with changing out the clothes hanging in my closet, and more to do with shedding the cloak I constantly hid behind that shielded my inner-truth and shadowed my self-worth. The woman I was years ago, that person whose desperate-to-dress-better profile was alarmingly self-important, is a vague memory.

In reality, it has been only four years since I took the steps toward living my truth and simplifying all aspects of my life. I have researched and read about living simply, sharing wealth, minimizing lifestyle, simplifying and de-cluttering, and learning to live with intention and contentedness.

Many like-minded people have begun, first, with their closets by ridding the clutter they face in the morning. They started by reducing what it takes to get dressed. I have followed suit. My first minimizing task was to take hold of my excess in clothing choices by keeping only the articles I enjoyed wearing and those I chose to wear time and again. Seems simple enough.

My appreciation for lovely clothes hasn’t gone away, and I doubt it ever will, even with taking a streamlined approach to dressing myself. I’ve learned to have fun shopping my favorite discounters once more, though I visit only when the need arises, not the want stemming from boredom, anxiety, or self-doubt. I take delight in having a clean, relatively clutter-free closet representing my version of a capsule wardrobe , and intentionally cultivated with fabrics and colors that make me feel…well, simply me. Quite beautiful, in fact.

If you are interested in minimizing your closet and clothing lot, are wondering more about capsule wardrobes, and would like to read other writers’ perspectives on how they maintain a simplified closet, I recommend reading Unfancy and Be More with Less.

How do you manage the clothing clutter in your household? Do you have a capsule wardrobe for yourself or your children? What, if anything, would you change about your style?

 

 

Uniquely Minimalist: Why my Definition of Minimalism is Different than Yours (And, that’s okay)

17 Saturday Sep 2016

Posted by in Change, Intentional Living, Peace, Personal Challenges, Perspective, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.” ~ Joshua Becker

If you ever came to my house for a visit, first of all, I would offer you a cup of Harney and Sons Tea with perhaps a homemade pumpkin muffin, and side of freshly cut fruit to complement. We would chat nicely for a time while you took in the surroundings of my home enveloped around us. After seeing for yourself how my family and I live, you might switch your friendly tune, abruptly stop our kind chat with teacup mid-sip, and proceed to yell at me, “FRAUD! LIAR! DECEPTIVE, you! Just who do you think you are? YOU, my friend, are NO MINIMALIST!” You might go so far as to almost slam the teacup down in protest, and storm out my front door in righteous anger.

At once, I would apologize for inviting you over under false pretense, and plead with you to come back, stay for a just a little while longer so that I might explain myself with complete honesty. You might relent, but may come back to hear my explanations, though keep your arms crossed the whole time, and glare at me from across my beat-up kitchen table.

To begin anew, I would smile at you in genuine likeness, then justify myself by telling about the beauty and calm I find in the art of simplifying. That I find intentional living a meditative process, and feel quite called to be sharing my family’s abundance with those in need. I might add that adhering to the practice of minimalism isn’t something that can be done in a day, a week, a month, nor even in one year’s time.

Of course, I would tell you that I presently remain in the thick of becoming a minimalist, with a gentle reminder that my mantra all along has been “striving toward minimalism.” It would be worthwhile to add that my definition of minimalism may vary widely from others’ minimalist ways, and certainly may look completely unlike what you had in mind.

From this point,  I would encourage you to look around once more. I’d ask if you would you be so kind as to take into consideration all that I have just explained, with the meaning and purpose of my striving toward minimalism advising your thoughts and opinions? Perhaps, I would say, could you put on fresh eyes and glimpse again, though this time with a newfound understanding of my commitment to becoming so much more in the wake of a minimalist, intentional, and simplified undertaking ? Would you see it all rather differently this time?

~

My continual journey of striving toward minimalism is fueled by my commitment to being intentional about my choices for what goes and stays, finding a harmonious balance of my family’s needs versus wants, and weighing out all of my decisions on a scale of joy, usefulness, and intent. Yes, I’m being deliberately slow in the process, but I’m inclined to keep a snail’s pace in order to be sure about what I am minimizing, and to pace myself for this lifelong pursuit.

If you could choose one place (room, closet, cabinet, etc…) to de-clutter and minimize right now, where would that place be? What is overtaking your time, cramping your space, and hindering your peace? How might you immediately begin to simplify that area in your life? 

 

 

The Why? before the How? Why I’m “Striving toward Minimalism”

16 Friday Sep 2016

Posted by in Change, Intentional Living, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Perspective, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

“Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.” ~Elise Boulding

Embarking on this journey of self-imposed minimalism was not a path chosen on a whim, by accident, or for no good reason other than I was seeking something worthwhile to occupy my days. Rather, striving toward minimalism has been quite a lifelong internal pursuit of mine. Finally, I have reconciled my true desires—those of living more simply and intentionally by drastically reducing, de-cluttering, and minimizing all my worldly possessions—with the myriad of outward mistakes and demoralizing failures I chose to make by listening to the world’s voice—subtle, yet persistent—constantly calling out to me, “Consume! Spend! Add! Acquire!” Instead of heeding to my own truth, that inner-dialogue and guiding compass reaffirming that I was content and beyond rich with all that I had and have ever had, I gave in to the norm for far too long.

Embarrassing as it is to admit my weaknesses—such as my propensity for over-consumption, my increased discontent even with all I owned and could buy, shopping too much and for pitiful reasons, and especially allowing my self-worth to be measured and determined by the type of things cluttering every shelf, closet, and corner of my home—I find it is worthwhile and important to expose my flaws here because it represents the pinnacle and point of realizing that I was stuck in old, demoralizing, woeful habits. And it is precisely where my journey to a better life begins.

Changing oneself for the better is a terrifying, yet exhilarating experience. After all, someone once said, “If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.” I couldn’t agree more.

What changes have you made that improved your life for the better? What has been your most compelling heart’s desire that you’re still afraid to pursue?