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Taking a Sad Song, Making it Better

Category Archives: Writing routine

Thoughts on Journal Writing

30 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by purdywords in Journaling, Memories, Past, Peace, Writer's Block, Writing, Writing Goals, Writing routine

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Creativity, Journal writing, Journaling, Seeking joy, Writer's Block, Writing

“The pages afforded glimpses into my soul where I’d hidden it, behind masks of paper and ink.” ― Rachel L. Schade, Silent Kingdom

The greatest cure I have found to my own writer’s block is diligently keeping a personal journal. Some days, if my fingers won’t willingly dance across the keys of my laptop, I take up my pen and put the ink to paper, easily scrawling away the mess filling inside my head―all of the anxieties, doubts, fears about the unknowns, random thoughts, memories, coincidences, and dreams. Once my journal writing session is complete, which takes me anywhere from 10-20 minutes (depending upon the weightiness of my heart and the heaviness of my soul at the time), I am finally confident and steady enough to confront a blank screen. After I journal, my mind is straighter and freer, and I am able to write fluidly with a clearer perspective, lighter heart and peaceful demeanor―no matter the subject matter.

It takes only a quick Google search to discover why famous authors, past and present, have kept a journal. Personally, I find the process cathartic; a balm to my emotional, sentimental nature. I would much rather my journal be the vessel bearing the burdens of my inner-person, fielding the complaints, taking the hits, mending the brokenness, offering the therapy, relieving the stress, questioning the injustices, remembering the laughter, piecing together fragments of memory, working through shame, healing past hurts, expressing grief, and recording both the simple and profound moments of my life. Essentially, my journal is where I work out the sorrows and write my way to discovering the joys.  

A cup of tea, a near-perfect pen, a journal waiting to be filled―this is my prescriptive remedy for a happy calm. Journal writing is as essential as breath. 

If you’re intrigued by the journal writing process, but have no idea where to begin, I recommend reading this: https://journaltherapy.com/lets-journal/a-short-course-in-journal-writing/

May I also suggest reading this essay on writing?  Ellen O’Connell Whittet muses in beautiful detail about how everything we write matters. 

 

“I say to people that I am not writing, but I keep writing the diary, subterraneously, secretly, a writing which is not writing but breathing.”  ― Anaïs Nin, from her Diary

Motherhood and Finding the Time to Write and Create

26 Thursday Oct 2017

Posted by purdywords in Chasing Dreams, Inspiration, Journaling, Motherhood, Personal Challenges, Seasons, Writing, Writing Goals, Writing routine

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Challenges, Creativity, Inspiration, Motherhood, Motherhood stories, Parenting, Sacred Writing Time, Time, Writing

“…there is nothing you can buy, achieve, own, or rent that can fill up that hunger inside for a sense of fulfillment and wonder. But the good news is that creative expression, whether that means writing, dancing, bird-watching, or cooking, can give a person almost everything that he or she has been searching for: enlivenment, peace, meaning, and the incalculable wealth of time spent quietly in beauty.” ~ Anne Lamott

 

The local library where I live brings to town many well-known and accomplished authors. A few years ago, I was one of many in the crowded auditorium at the central high school mere miles from my neighborhood where these literary events are held and the author of a favorite novel was the guest speaker. My memory serves that this author’s talk on writing was exceptional, especially the bits about how her stories came to life and how her writing life came to fruition. She was gracious in her answers during the Q & A, one of which I posed, a version of, “How did she find the time to write with children underfoot?” In so many words, she prescribed that you must write any chance you can get, master writing to the background noise and chaos, scrawl away during short spurts of free time, and urged not to wait for the ‘perfect’ conditions conducive to writing because they will rarely appear and the writing will never happen. What I took from her eloquent answer (more precisely delivered than I am reiterating to you) is that if you are a mother longing to write (or create in any artistic endeavor) then you must accept that you must write to the cadence of the season you are in, and weave the craft into the fabric of your daily life, willing to adjust and change your writing tempo as your children change and grow along side of you.

If you are a mother-writer and struggling to find the time to write, here are a few simple suggestions to help you carve out more time for your writing and that have worked for me:

Take a break, and give yourself a break.

There will be days, weeks, and even months that you won’t be able to carve out one minute for writing, and that’s alright. Don’t berate yourself. Embrace the peaks and valleys. Invite the rest in and allow the time off to invigorate your senses. It’s quite allowable to take time off from writing, and preferred, if I might add. After all, living your life and experiencing the world around you will only improve your creative abilities.

Quite by choice, summers are the most challenging time in my writing calendar. Since I don’t employ a daycare facility, a part-time sitter or nanny, the warm summer months around my house are full and well-enjoyed, even on days when camps and classes aren’t on the schedule. Along with my children, I prefer to soak up as much sun as possible while we are blessed with the Vitamin D producer, and the vibrancy of kids enjoying their months of freedom is something I don’t want to miss out on–especially while they are still so young. This is where personal journaling and keeping notebooks nearby come in handy. When there are chunks of time that I don’t feel like powering up the laptop, though want to record my thoughts, ideas, recollections, observations, and experiences, then I journal. I find that the break from typing also helps to refuel my creativity in pertinent ways. Never once have I felt regret for relishing in the days off.

Write at a time of day that works for you.

Although I would love to tell you to set your alarm an hour earlier than your first child wakes up, this has never worked for me. I’m not now, and doubtful ever will be, a morning person. When I was on a writer’s retreat, I insisted I wake up at 5:00 AM every morning to start writing, and I did. However, I did not have the pressing urgency of a child to attend to that week, either. I was there for myself and had only myself to take care of during five, blissful, writing-centered days. It was my opportunity to utilize as much time to write–and I took the gift of being there seriously, not wanting to waste the opportunity. That was three years ago, and I have yet to replicate that early morning habit so easily enacted on an island miles and miles away surrounded by other women-mother-writers. What I have continued is the discipline and confidence earned, and the ability to be flexible with both myself and my writing process.

Please, do not feel obligated to wake an hour earlier than your family does if the extra sleep is vital to your emotional, physical, and mental well-being–especially if you have young toddlers or school-aged children as I do. In this time of my life, it is more important that I sleep in after nursing Baby Boy in the early morning hours. After we rise and ready for the day, eat our breakfast and clear up, then I can think about some writing if our schedule permits. Don’t neglect your health and essential needs, nor those of your children, for the sake of your craft. It’s a recipe for failure. Instead, take care of yourself and children first, and pockets of writing time will appear, I promise. (Just my two cents.)

Let them see you write.  

If you have young children at home able to entertain themselves for a while, take advantage of late morning play time and make that your daily writing time. After I have finished in the kitchen, and perhaps have even started a load of laundry, I set my toddler up nearby with some favorite toys and I write in my journal while sipping my first cup of tea of the day. This has become my almost-daily practice of emptying my head of the noise and clutter inside, or when I may flesh-out ideas for the book I’m working on, conceptualize upcoming blog posts, or even free-write. I keep my journal nearby for reference, and it’s a daily practice I’ll never reject. (By the way, these are my favorite ones.)

Cultivate ideas during their nap time.

If you’re lucky enough to have a child that still naps, I’d love to know your secret! When The Boy was younger, he was a champion napper. It gave me ample time for freelance projects and personal, creative pursuits. Baby Boy is rejecting his nap time most days, I’m sad to say. So for now, I take a midday walk with him and use this time to commune with nature and let my thoughts run free. I highly recommend an afternoon walk for some fresh air and the chance to gather eclectic ideas for your creative endeavors. During most of these walks, my son will doze off for a short time. By the time I return home and transfer him out of the stroller and back inside, I have only a brief time for writing before the older children arrive at their bus stop at the end of the school day. This is the toughest time for me to write. Nevertheless, I strive to utilize that time for me and my writing, if even for thirty minutes, or less. Thirty minutes spent writing is better than writing nothing at all.

Burn the midnight oil, but only if that works for you.

During my younger days, I was a night owl. In my forties, though, I am slowing down in the evening and feel that my writing time is wasted after a certain hour. My wonderful husband will handle baths and the nighttime routine. If given the choice, I honestly choose to exercise most evenings rather than write because a brisk walk or fitness class helps me to decompress in a healthier way. Though, if the weather is uncooperative, or I’ve had ample time to exercise during the day (which is rare), I will plant myself at my desk to scrawl or type away. On the nights I write (like tonight), it’s usually time well-spent. Anymore, I like to have my computer turned off by 8:00 PM so that I can unwind with my husband and rest my mind. I am confident that the writing pieces swirling around my head after hours won’t flitter away into the abyss of forgetfulness, and this schedule helps me to acquire the essential sleep I need to meet, God-willing, another full and challenging day of motherhood.

Designate and schedule one, non-negotiable chunk of time per week for creating.

Lastly, I have declared the mid-week morning that Baby Boy attends nursery school for two-and-a-half-hours as “Sacred Writing Time.” Sacred Writing Time is designated and guaranteed; the only moments in my week that are non-negotiable, set aside for writing and only writing. During these couple of hours, I do not take phone calls (except from my children’s schools), nor do I read, shop, set appointments, clean, etc… Making this time a priority and only for writing has been a gift and game-changer in my life as a mother-writer. Knowing I will write at least two hours a week takes the pressure off during my busiest weeks taking care of all the essential motherhood tasks, caring for sick kids, running to and from appointments, and more. “Sacred Writing Time” is just that, sacred, and I take it quite seriously. Once I return home from preschool drop-off, I am eagerly at my computer without delay.

For further inspiration about how to carve out the time to write while entrenched in the glories of motherhood, or distracted by your presently busy life, please look no further than to these, more seasoned and reliable writers than I:

http://www.sunset.com/travel/anne-lamott-how-to-find-time by Anne Lamott

https://jamesclear.com/daily-routines-writers by James Clear

http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-menkedick-literary-value-of-motherhood-20170416-story.html by Sarah Menkedick

https://www.creativenonfiction.org/online-reading/writing-motherhood  by Marcelle Soviero

If inspired to, please comment on how you carve out time in your week for your creative pursuits. As always, thank you for reading and happy writing!

 

“We are all carrying so many things in our life and inside ourselves. Often it feels there is no place to put them down. Where do you place the questions you carry” ~ Sabrina Ward Harrison, Spilling Open: The Art of Becoming Yourself

 

Joy: It’s Your Choice

08 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by purdywords in Change, Glorifying God, Journaling, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Perspective, Prayer, Tough days, Writing, Writing Goals, Writing routine

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“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

This blog post has been a long time coming–a year in the making, actually. The time away has been spent on rest and rejuvenation, intense personal renewal and reflection, an invaluable year spent refining myself in a chaotic storm center of trial that has taught me lessons about slowing down, pacing myself, letting go, breathing deeper, choosing happy, loving stronger, praying more fervently, infusing simplicity, being still, and living day by day–going no farther than the moment ahead. This incredible change inside of me, I feel, has been powerfully positive. God is working through me in this crisis at hand and I feel compelled to not resist His timeline. I know that the struggles and challenges being placed before me are not for nothing, and that I am being sanctified in the process.  There is so much to say about letting go of control and placing the internal care and future success of your loved ones, and of yourself, directly in the hands of God.

As I’ve learned to live a new normal and continue on with an intentional pace, I’ve continued to read voraciously and write almost daily. Although, I’ve not made much time for writing on the computer, hence the hiatus from creating blog posts here, I have, instead, handwritten my way through the year by filling two fully lined notebooks that I use as journals. Two weeks ago, I broke open the spine of the third. This daily practice I’m adhering to is therapeutic, melodic, and life-altering. Truly, I believe writing, or any creative endeavor, is a healer.

My plans for the coming year include writing–both inside my journal and online–and pursuing lifelong dreams. Some of the journey, I will chronicle here. Though, what I want to explore through writing in the coming months involves living well–gently, creatively, and intentionally–despite life’s challenges and struggles. This I know for certain, we can be met with the worst kind of heart-wrenching loss, yet still come out of the abyss fully alive, even choosing joy in the process.

Won’t you join me?

 

 

Born to Write

10 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by purdywords in Motherhood, Parenting, Writing, Writing routine

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Change, Crosses to bear, FASD, Motherhood stories, New Year's Resolutions, Snow day, Writing

“If a story is in you, it has to come out.” ~ William Faulkner

Remember my little blog post last week about setting and keeping writing resolutions for the new year? Well, 2015 got off to a rough start. A family member was in the hospital. Wicked weather caused us to have two snow days the week the kids returned from Christmas Break. The Girl’s incessant inability to self-regulate her moods equaled a string of rough days turned into even worse nights wrought with constant monitoring, counseling, and emotional drainage for all of us to deal with and decompress from. To cap off the hectic week, Baby Girl suddenly became stricken with a stomach bug yesterday afternoon not five minutes after I left her and The Boy with a brand-new babysitter so I could get The Girl to a much-needed appointment with her therapist. Although the worst, I hope, is over, I’m still in care-taking mode.

How many words did I actually write this first week of the new year, you ask? Not many, but some. More than I thought I would get done given the upheaval around here, to be truthful. I’ll take that as a victory despite the fact my good intentions and scheduled writing time were thrown out the window.

On a brighter note, today I’m able to make up for last week’s lost writing time. Since I’m (gladly) stuck at home caring for my sweet baby, (it’s freezing outside anyway), I’m writing at a leisurely pace and have already logged well over my daily word count goal!  Additionally, I’ve been able to research upcoming writing contests and submission guidelines for a few pieces I’m intent on polishing for possible (hopeful!) publication.  The Girl is with her caring and capable respite provider all day, so the lack of chaos is helping me to think more clearly even with a head foggy due to lack of sleep from staying up with Baby Girl throughout the night.

This is life–chaotic, unpredictable, often cold and tiring. Much of the same can be attributed to the motherhood journey, personally. I’m learning to live, write, and parent better despite the trials that smack me in the face. My writing will follow-suit. It may be a bit fragmented in the beginning, but I’ll get there in the end. This I know, I was born to write.

“I think if you feel like you were born to write, then you probably were.”
—  Lena Dunham

In keeping with the theme of writing goals for 2015, The Writer published quite the motivating article about how to be successful at keeping your writing resolutions this year. Well worth the read, you can check it out here.

Happy Writing. Happy Mothering.

Living Intentionally in 2014

07 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by purdywords in Blessings, Change, Forgiveness, Infertility, Miscarriage, New Year's Resolutions, Past, Peace, Perspective, Snow day!, Writing, Writing routine

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2014, Arctic blast, Living intentionally, New Year's Resolutions, Positive change, Priorities, Slowing down, Writing therapy

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850

I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.  ~Henry Moore

It’s that time of year, one resplendent with making promises to ourselves that this new year will be better than the last. It’s an awesome, positive time of year despite that the good intentions might be laced with bitter despair by looking back on all that went wrong in a previous year. In 2013, I was facing emotional and physical trials that put an abrupt end to any worthy resolution I had in mind for the year as I began with joyful anticipation of focusing on growing my family and writing my motherhood stories. Instead, I spent my days and months fighting to get my body, mind, and spirit back. It was an exhausting feat, but I survived and once again, the wounds of despair have made me a stronger, kinder, more resilient being. The writing, in fact, saved me.

Writing is therapy.

Writing is therapy.

The first week of 2014 has found me locked up indoors tending to my three children, all whom fell ill in a staggered progression that began with a quick onset of fever and chills, moved to various stomach ails, and was followed by a brutal, lingering head and chest cold. Now we are all stuck inside a little while longer due to the unsightly arctic blast growling outside. No school, no recreational activities, no heading out for us. There are blessings in being grounded together for a couple more days. Not only do the kids have some extra time to recoup, but I’ve found ample time to reflect on what I want differently out of today, tomorrow, and the days ahead. At the top of my priorities for this new year?  Cutting myself some slack and worrying less about the future. Living less in my mind and more in the present.  Lacerating my tendency toward undue anxiety and negative self-talk. Deeper, mindful breathing. Allowing myself to move slowly and deliberately as long as I’m heading forward and onward to a better self, life, and sense of purpose.

Slow down and live life more fully.

Slow down and live life more fully.

What do you have in mind for your new year? How do you want to live differently just for today?  

Grateful for the Words: Giving Thanks Day Four (30 Days of Thanks)

04 Monday Nov 2013

Posted by purdywords in 30 Days of Thanks, Writing, Writing routine

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

30 Days of Thanks, Kate Hopper, Motherhood stories, Writing

“Writers live twice.”
—Natalie Goldberg

 

It’s not an easy story to tell, this life of mine, this journey I am living out now and the paths I have crossed long ago. Despite the trials, I’m surviving and often, I think, thriving even with new challenges thrown my way. This intricate, complex life of mine makes for a great story to tell. At the very least, I’m determined to try to make sense of it all on paper.

Some won’t like what I have to say—not one bit. Others won’t care what I have to say—not at all. Actually, the point of all my writing is not for the approval or praise, but for purpose–my own. Publication one day is a goal, of course. Though, I keep my current focus on building writer discipline and refining my creative skills in order to make up for all the years I wasted on other frivolous pastimes while ignoring the call to write. The point is that I’m writing all the time now and I can’t seem to stop. That’s real passion.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention here that I have the amazingly talented author and writing teacher, Kate Hopper to thank for helping me gain back the confidence I lost years ago after I put my writing aside. Last fall, I took a chance on myself and signed up for the first writing class I have taken in over a decade, an online section of Kate’s course Motherhood and Words. Her phenomenal writer’s guidebook in conjunction with the online class helped me to discover my own writer’s voice–the one I have been searching for all these years.

On social media today, I expressed my gratitude for the writing passion burning from deep inside me; for the catharsis and enjoyment I garner from writing that keeps me intact and makes me whole. Writing is such a release, and tremendously fulfilling. Last autumn, I promised myself that as long as I am given new days ahead, I will spend them writing. So far, I’m making good on that promise.

Blog hop

30 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by purdywords in "The Book", Authors, Blog Hop, Writing, Writing routine

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Blog Hop, Reading, Writing

Was it only by dreaming or writing that I could find out what I thought? ~ Joan Didion

 

Part of my writing practice involves searching for new writers and delighting in the discovery of the stories they have to tell. Scouring the internet for blogs and searching the shelves of my public library for inspirational words has been a hobby for over three decades now and one I’ll never grow tired of.  In my connecting online, I was happy to be given the opportunity to participate in a “blog hop” among writers, like myself, by author, Debbie LaCroix. I thought it would be fun to try something new on my blog!

 

What are you working on?

Presently, I’m working on a creative nonfiction account of the journey that led my husband and I to adopt our oldest daughter (referred to here on my blog as “The Girl”). Our story is unique, as we faced almost five years of infertility and I had four miscarriages before welcoming The Girl home. Two years followed before her adoption was finalized, and during that time, I became pregnant again, but carried to term for the first time, giving birth to “The Boy” after a rather difficult pregnancy. In the years since, I’ve had one more child and lost another. My hope is that my words will affirm and comfort other couples struggling with infertility and miscarriage, and inspires others to adopt—especially domestically and/or from foster care. When I’m not working on this book, I keep up my personal journal, write journals for each of my three children, and write poetry. I aspire to write about the challenges and joys involved in raising a child with multiple special needs, and dream about publishing a book of poetry.

 

How does your writing process work?

My writing process always begins with a free-writing exercise. Coming to the computer and first clearing my mind of the day’s clutter helps me to remain keenly focused on my story. Being a stay-at-home mother to three young children makes it difficult to find much time to write. So, I’ve become quite adept at squeezing writing in small pockets of time throughout the day. Finding more than an hour of uninterrupted time to write is a gift, and when I get large chunks of time like that, I relish in the delight of my luck and use it to my advantage by not wasting time away. Late at night, when everyone is sound asleep and the house is subdued and calm, is my favorite time to write and the time of day when I feel the most productive.

 

Who are the authors you most admire?

I would not be a writer today without being inspired by the magnitude of authors I have been privileged to read. Every week, I read at least one book, if not more. My husband says my reading addiction keeps me from writing more, and in a sense, he’s right. But, I just can’t help myself! Reading enriches my life and inspires me in countless ways. That being said, I enjoy reading a variety of genres and re-read classics and favorite stories, as well.

Some of my favorite authors include: Anne Lamott, Ann Patchett, William Wordsworth, William Shakespeare, Walt Whitman, Jodi Picoult, Anita Shreve, Leif Enger, Joan Didion, Dodie Smith, John Keats, Louisa May Alcott, Jane Austen, Sophie Kinsella, Jennifer Lauck, Heather Vogel Frederick, and Kate Morton. Every week, I look forward to discovering new favorite writers and stories.

Here is a similar list of some of the blogs I frequently spend time reading. Hop on over! I hope you find a new favorite author among these wonderful sites:

Hands Free Mama http://www.handsfreemama.com/

Hannah Nicole http://blog.imhannahnicole.com/

Heidi Hess Saxton http://heidihesssaxton.wordpress.com/about-2/about-heidi-hess-saxton/

Motherhood & Words http://motherhoodandwords.com/

Finding Joy http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/

 

 

The Writer’s Way

29 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by purdywords in Authors, Writing, Writing routine

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Discipline, Routine, Writers, Writing

If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don’t remove it—I might be writing in my dreams. ~Terri Guillemets

 

On a crisp, invigorating after-dinner walk throughout my neighborhood, stretching across the main way and down the winding path carefully lined with trees and showcasing the nature sights and sounds of early spring, I thought a lot about routine and discipline. Around the house, I have my routine down. The kids and I have our daily expectations and good fun—we’re in the flow. My writing routine, however it starts the same, I’m lacking the discipline that finds me at my desk each and every day at the same time. I’m definitely getting better at it, but I know that I need to work diligently on putting forth more effort to reach my writing goals. A daily routine—one that is a set schedule would be ideal and comforting, to be honest. But the nature of writing when your main responsibility is to care for three young children won’t allow for such a luxury. So, without complaint and instead filled with eagerness to write more often, I’m learning to adjust expectations but without putting writing aside.

In thinking about how to better utilize my time and energy to write, I pondered the stories I’ve read before of famous writers and how they made the time to write and further thought that it would be beneficial to learn of the writing routines of not-so-famous writers, too—the discipline of today’s eager writers. The writers whose challenges are the same as mine. The writers struggling to make it as a writer. The writers who might turn out to be the authors our children will consider the great ones when they’ve reached adulthood. Do these everyday writers pour tea at home and reheat as needed as they wait for their laptop to warm up and beckon them to another blank screen? Do the mother-writers in our midst seek out a comfy coffee shop with an abundance of hot coffee to sip while their children are at school and it’s too quiet now to write at home? What of the background noise? I wonder if newbie writers listen to one soundtrack on shuffle and repeat as they type away. Or, perhaps they work better to a random Pandora station playing softly in the background, or maybe these writers type in silence except to the beat of the typical sounds of a home during the day? Who of you rise early in the morning to churn out a few pages before the first child awakes for breakfast? Perhaps, you prefer to write all through the night to the twinkling stars outside the windowpane free from all distractions or contact that might disrupt the free flow of words? Myself, I am constantly changing what I need in order to write. The space, time, and background are all dependent on the type of writing I’m working on and the mood and temperature of my busy home and family inside. My tea mug, however, is always the same.

These personal stories continue to amaze, interest, and intrigue me to no end. Why do they write? What surroundings are ideal to get their writing juices flowing? Are they quirky about their writing habits, intensely particular about their routine, even a little neurotic in their method?  In researching this very topic, I came across a blog from an author who turned his “Sunday afternoon idea” into a book about to be published on April 26, 2013. Mason Currey’s Daily Rituals, How Artists Work will celebrate the myriad of habits and routines of writers and other creative geniuses, presenting a unique window into their work spaces, and quite possibly, their inner-selves. You can read more about this highly anticipated book by visiting the author’s website at http://masoncurrey.com/daily-rituals. I, for one have just added Mr. Currey’s book to my must-read list at Goodreads and can’t wait for its debut.

I love a good writer’s story about personal diligence, duty, and discipline. And I want to read more of them! So, tell me. What’s the story behind your writing routine?

  • purdywords
    • 30 Days of Thanks, November 2020
    • How to Give Without Giving Yourself Away
    • Raising Awareness About Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss

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