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Taking a Sad Song, Making it Better

~ Discovering joy amid pain

Taking a Sad Song, Making it Better

Tag Archives: Endometriosis

A New Year’s Hope for Radical Acceptance, Greater Kindness and Deeper Truth

31 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by purdywords in Acceptance, Forgiveness, Glorifying God, Inspiration, Kindness, New Year New You, New Year's Resolutions, Past, Peace, Personal Challenges, Personal health, Perspective, Prayer, Seasons, Simple Living, Simplicity, Thankfulness, Truth of Heart

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Acceptance, Be Kind to Yourself, Challenges, Chasing your Dreams, Choosing joy, Endometriosis, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Healing, Hope, Inspiration, Kindness, Life lessons, Living intentionally, Love, Memories, Moving forward, New Year's Reflections, New Year's Resolutions, Peace, Positive change, Prayer, Seeing the good in every day, Seeking joy, Simple Living, Simplicity, The Past, Time, Transitions, Truth, Winter

“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.” ~ Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State

 

On this New Year’s Eve, I am looking inward and claiming my personally perceived imperfections and failed attempts, owning the disappointments and mistakes of the last twelve months, yet disallowing the negative to shackle me to the past. Ending the year on an introspective note allows me to acknowledge what I should have done better–without allowing grief and shame to weigh me down. For, I trust and hope for a new day and new year to grow kinder, gentler, better than before.

Would you allow that, quite possibly, the most delicate and treasured gift we can bestow upon ourselves during the holiday season is finding a deeper and lasting way to spread love and acceptance, by taking adequate time for intentionally glimpsing within, and setting forth toward a new year filled with anticipation and led by a healed heart bursting of grace, beauty, and acceptance? 

This annual interior reflection I practice has allowed me to extend radical grace and true forgiveness to myself, firstly, and the capacity to extend equal compassion to others in my life. Looking toward the new year set before me, I am feeling hopeful for the freedom of newborn chances, courageous to pursue my truth by way of my dreams, and the energy and faith necessary to walk boldly, yet, treading lightly upon the path that awaits me in the coming year. 

I want to take this moment to wish an incredibly, joyously Happy New Year’s Eve to all of my readers. My wish and prayer for you is for a safe and peaceful night, surrounded by love and friendship, and warmly enlightened by your own hopes for 2018. Thank you for your devout readership!

 

“I am larger, better than I thought; I did not know I held so much goodness.

All seems beautiful to me.

Whoever denies me, it shall not trouble me;

Whoever accepts me, he or she shall be blessed, and shall bless me.”

~ Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

 

Healthy Eating, Simplified

19 Monday Sep 2016

Posted by purdywords in Blessings, Change, Endometriosis & Adenomyosis, Infertility, Personal Challenges, Personal health, Simple Living, Simplicity, Striving toward Minimalism

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Adenomyosis, Change, Endometriosis, Healthy Eating, Infertility, Minimalism, Miscarriage, Parenting, Positive change, Simplicity

Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels. ~Author unknown

Before I go on about the ways I have simplified the task of feeding my family, I want to say that it has been a long road getting here and I’m not quite sure the path to eating perfection will ever be attained, nor should it. For many, many years, we ascribed to the “beans and rice, rice and beans” mentality until we learned that those meals, albeit healthy and frugal in their own right, were not kind nor helpful to the multiple health issues I am fighting against daily (Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, hormone imbalances, infertility, repeat miscarriages, migraines, and more). A few years ago, before I became pregnant with The Toddler, I was facing some serious stuff. That’s all I’m going to say about that except to note that my long-time doctor (sadly, now retired) and I had a major life-changing discussion in his office while going over my recent test results, ultrasound scans, and everything that could and couldn’t be done about the extent and seriousness of my illnesses (think: Cancer and gene testing). Scary stuff.

As a last resort, this doctor—who was a champion for me and my health from my first appointment on, a beacon of hope in some of my darkest times of baby loss, one whom celebrated with us the birth of every child he surgically delivered, and the adoption of The Girl—urgently prescribed a type of modified-Paleo regime that strictly eliminated ALL grains and sugars from my diet for three months, and put me back on natural progesterone support. What I needed to commit to was a diet without rice or pasta (not even gluten-free), no pizza or breads, no fruits or desserts, nor sugar in my tea. You get the picture. He wanted me to check in every month and let him know how I was feeling, continue sending in my NFP charts, note any changes in all symptoms and frequency of migraines, any new or worsening conditions, anything positive or negative related to my cycle and health issues. After the three months’ trial, he said that I could begin to add one grain or sugar back  into rotation at a time to see if and what I could tolerate in those food categories.

I owed this special doctor so much for the family he helped us build, the prayers he prayed in our name, wholeheartedly trusting his medical knowledge and advice on the management of my health-related issues over the years, and appreciated his candid, yet gentle discussions with me about the truth and seriousness of the female disorders I live with every day. Although, in the past I had tried The Endo Diet, I was unsuccessful each time I tried to modify my diet to meet the requirements. It seemed overwhelming and daunting, especially during the times after another miscarriage or months on end of trying to conceive another pregnancy. However, three years ago, I was desperate.

Hitting the vortex of desperation with my doctor’s newfound research, empathy and conviction to keeping another pending surgery at bay, he put me on the path to a whole new me. Truly. This major change to my diet, which seemed simple and doable against all the odds I was facing (after all, what did I have to lose?) in turn changed my health around almost instantaneously and, in a sense, gave me my life back. Quite possibly, considerably changing my diet is the one and only reason—aside from a true miracle—that The Toddler’s life exists. For this reason alone, I am humbled and feel blessed beyond compare, and try my best to maintain this type of eating regime for optimum health so that I can be the best version of myself for those I love the most.

~

The one area of my life I refuse to scrimp on is what I serve my family to eat. In our household, we have multiple special-diets that we must adhere to due to a list of life-threatening food allergies and serious medical conditions. There was a time when I enjoyed cooking and learning new, elaborate recipes. Although I do still enjoy cooking and trying enticing recipes, health and safety is always on my mind. Over the last few years, I have discovered that simple, whole foods are the easiest, most cost-effective, and healthiest means to feeding my family.

So, what are some of my strategies for feeding a large family with all the variables I mentioned above? How do I keep the necessary tasks of cooking and preparing healthy and safe meals, and shopping within a budget possible? For one, I make it a priority to serve raw and fresh fruits and veggies at most meals and for snacks. I tend to only steam, cook, or roast vegetables at dinner time. We do serve your typical “kid-friendly” snacks (Veggie Straws, Goldfish crackers, Annie’s bunny fruit snacks, etc…) but the list of packaged foods we choose to buy is slim due to allergen restrictions and my commitment to feeding my family more whole foods and less processed ones, and find it a relief to both my healthy-eating conscience and wallet staying away from most pre-packaged snacks for daily consumption.

Over the weekend, I typically will buy the ingredients I need for cooking a pot of homemade chicken and vegetable soup, turkey and veggie chili, or Tuscan vegetable soup on Sunday or Monday for myself to eat at lunch and/or snack all week-long. This has been a lifesaver for my health-related and time-saving needs. It’s especially helpful to have this type of healthy leftover on hand for nights the kids have swimming lessons (pizza night!), or when my husband is away on business and I serve the kids a meal they prefer (think: chicken nuggets, French fries, applesauce, and green beans!).

What saves us the most time and money is eating a ton of left-overs, non-complicated foods, and simply, meal planning. An organic rotisserie chicken goes a long way and can be made into multiple meals throughout the week. The last of the chicken leftovers get thrown into the soup pot and all of the pieces combined make a delicious bone broth. Food waste is a big deal to me and one that I haven’t quite ratified 100% from my kitchen. However, I will tell you that by simplifying what is written down on my grocery list and not being too over-zealous in my meal planning, we waste much, much less than ever before.

Managing to keep my food shopping to one or two grocery stores only—the two that best serve our eating and monetary needs–also helps. (In case you are wondering, I shop primarily at Aldi and Kroger.) Texting The Husband at the end of his work day when we are out of: whole milk, eggs, bananas, etc… and asking him to please stop  on his way home helps me to stay out of the grocery store every few days, which also saves me from the temptation of over-buying and over-spending (but, it was on sale!) when we need only a few essentials to get us to the next pay period. We rarely eat out because it’s difficult to keep The Toddler in a high chair, not to mention the many allergies to consider. At this stage in our family’s life, we’d much rather spend our time and money elsewhere.

Keeping to particular food shopping and meal preparation routines enables me to simplify my life to ensure there is adequate room for what matters most: keeping my family well-fed in healthy and safe ways, and making memories by spending our precious time together doing what we enjoy.

 

Please share with me how you simplify the ways it takes to feed your family. Do you enjoy eating out together, or do you prefer to make homemade meals? What advice can you offer about simplifying meal-prep routines?

 

In Gratitude for Adoption: Giving Thanks Day Six (30 Days of Thanks)

06 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by purdywords in 30 Days of Thanks, Adoption, Blessings, Infertility, Love, Miscarriage, Motherhood, Mothers & Daughters, Parenting, Personal health, Prayers

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Tags

30 Days of Thanks, Adoption, Death/Loss, Endometriosis, Fostering, Infertility, Miscarriage, Natural Family Planning (NFP)

However motherhood comes to you, it’s a miracle. ~ Valerie Harper, Adoptive parent

About nine months after my husband and I were married, we felt ready to begin a family. Unfortunately, our journey to parenthood came with unexpected struggle, a litany of infertility issues and repeat miscarriages. (We lost our first four children in that time: Agnes Elizabeth, April 2004; Julian Olivia, June 2005; Max Kolbe, April 2006; and Catherine Teresa, December 2006.) During these years of trying to conceive again and again in hopes of finally carrying a child to term, I went through the ringer to become a mother.

During those trying years, my arms became permanently black and blue with bruises from the countless multiple blood draws I endured to check hormone levels and to rule out other serious health issues. I became an NFP charting expert and obsessed with the healthiest, most natural ways to eat, take care of my body, and become pregnant.  I had laparoscopic surgery and was diagnosed with Stage III Endometriosis. Soon thereafter, I started a regime of Clomid and trigger shots of hCG to boost my body’s ability to ovulate and produce the hormones it was lacking to sustain a pregnancy. During those cycles I swallowed ovulation-inducing medicines and became a pro at hormone injections, I gained weight and felt ill most of the time. Down went the pills and painful injections were endured–graciously, in fact–all for the sake of becoming a mother.

Because I reached the maximum dosage without a successful pregnancy, I had to stop the Clomid and trigger shots of hCG. Shortly thereafter is when I found a disturbingly large lump on my right breast. After seeing my doctor, I was sent to the women’s clinic for a full work-up of tests and procedures which ultimately resulted in a biopsy of the lump. Not only was I dealing with infertility and losing babies, I now had my first breast cancer scare. (Thankfully it was only a cyst, but even the surgeon who operated on me was seriously concerned. In the years since, I have found two more lumps.)

To compound the pain and the struggle we were experiencing for the sake of parenthood, my immediate and extended family were suffering greatly, too. In the span of three years, we lost my father to his sixteen-month long battle with small-cell lung cancer, and said our good-byes to two uncles, and my maternal grandparents, as well. It was a somber time.

Through it all, The Husband and I kept hoping and praying for children. We certainly discussed adoption, but had not explored it until one fateful September day when the answer to our prayers came in the form of an evening phone call. A familiar voice spoke to us on the other line. A child needed a loving home and were we open to adoption? Miracle of all miracles, our answer was an exuberant, “Yes!” Nine months from that incredible phone call, we would be fostering to adopt The Girl. We were full of gratitude and joy to be given this chance, and to open our hearts and home to this child in need.

The first Thanksgiving with The Girl in our home was a memorable one for obvious reasons. However, our joy increased a few days later when I discovered that I was, miraculously, pregnant again! A little over nine months later, we welcomed home The Boy. The Girl had a sibling! We had a son! Eight months after his birth, The Girl’s adoption was finalized. We felt blessed beyond compare to have witnessed two miracles in our lifetime, and that we were finally parents as we’d always hoped to be.

I touted over social media today that I was grateful for adopting my oldest child. She has stretched my heart and spirit by her love and many challenges. It’s not always “rainbows and butterflies” around here, but the trying times are the ones that increase our hearts, minds, and spirits tenfold. Adoption is a blessing despite the many challenges it brings. I would not have it any other way.

Honestly, I would go through the struggle over and over again—for her, for us—to start my family by fostering then finally adopting this amazingly complex, beautiful and gifted person–this daughter of mine–who herself makes me a better mom and better person, truly. If you ever had an inkling to foster or adopt, I urge you to look into welcoming a child into your home. Adoption can change lives for the better.

  • purdywords
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    • Be Yourself! A Journal for Catholic Girls {Book Review & Giveaway!}
    • On Grief and Gratitude

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