Tag Archives: Priorities

How to Give Without Giving Yourself Away

08 Thursday Oct 2020

Posted by in Books, Intentional Living, Personal health, Perspective, Rest, Seasons, Self-care, Simplicity, Stress & Anxiety, Tough days, Walking & Hiking

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Keep good company, read good books, love good things and cultivate soul and body as faithfully as you can. – Louisa May Alcott

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/298787-keep-good-company-read-good-books-love-good-things-and

Yesterday evening, I walked with a friend as our daughters ran at their cross-country practice. Last night, I chose reading and an earlier bedtime over all the usual nighttime rituals. I’m sure I made the right choice by not watching the Vice-Presidential Debate.

Every night I read a chapter in a devotional and one from a personal development book before continuing on with my current novel. This year, I’ve been reading Judith Orloff’s Thriving as an Empath. I came across this nugget of wisdom in her October 7th excerpt:

Stay aware of the empathic, caring people whom you admire, especially those who are dedicated to self-care. … See how they find satisfaction and joy. Observe how they give to others without giving themselves away.

https://drjudithorloff.com/thriving-as-an-empath/

The last few weeks haven’t gone as planned. That’s all I’m going to say about it. And I’m realizing I’ve been feeling out of balance. All my life, I’ve struggled with pouring out all my energy into supporting those around me to the detriment of my own needs. After years of practice, helpful therapy, and age-gained wisdom, I notice I catch myself quicker each time I throw myself toward other-care before complete burn-out occurs. Part of the learning process has been living intentionally, simplifying, seeking joy every day, and focusing on gratitude. Learning to let go and how to prioritize me over my to-do lists and everyone else’s wants has been liberating.

Although I still struggle with obligation to others and feeling self-indulgent, nothing terrible has ever happened because I chose to do something meaningful for myself once in awhile. When I stop and take the time to check in with myself, I’m always better for it and so are the ones I love. In the choosing of self, I’m reacquainted with my spirit and peace is restored.

My list of self-care practice is quite easy, minimal, unadorned. Yes, I’ve enjoyed spa days and the like, but for the day-to-day implementation of self-care, I choose practical over planned. Walks invigorate me. Nature heals me. Hot tea comforts me. Writing restores me. Checking in with a friend cheers me. Frequent massage improves me. Cooking enlivens me. Detox baths soothe me. Reading relaxes me.

On Tuesday, I was graced by a late morning walk with a childhood friend around a lake at a nearby park. This meet-up was more than just a three-mile trek with masks on and catching up. It was a commitment to being in the company of a dear friend on a beautiful fall day and a positive choice for feeding my soul. Another mid-week blessing came about in the spur of the moment. When I realized my neck and shoulders couldn’t tense up any more than they already had, I called my chiropractor’s office. Lo and behold, they had an hour-long massage available at the perfect hour of the day. I didn’t hesitate to take the open spot and it was the antidote I needed to the stress I’ve been carrying for awhile now.

On the schedule for today was a trip to the BMV. I don’t know exactly what I need today, but I know it doesn’t involve standing in line and waiting for an average of four hours to renew my driver’s license. I don’t know exactly what I need today, but it doesn’t involve scrolling through social media and upsetting the apple cart of my emotions on things out of my control. Grateful I have the freedom to push my BMV visit to next week and I can enact measures to take a break from the news and noise of the world, I’m looking forward to a long walk in the glorious autumnal sunshine as my reward, my reprieve. I’m choosing to listen to my needs. I’m choosing to indulge in a day off. I’m choosing nature. I’m choosing me.

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. – John Burroughs

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/32924-i-go-to-nature-to-be-soothed-and-healed-and

Why My Forehead is Clear of Ashes Today

18 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by in Ash Wednesday, Change, Glorifying God, Lent, Tough days

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“Although the life of a person is in a land full of thorns and weeds, there is always a space in which the good seed can grow. You have to trust God.”

~ Pope Francis

Today is Ash Wednesday. The Christian’s forty days of Lent has begun as it does each and every year. As Catholics, wearing the mark of a cross of ashes on one’s forehead represents the start of our most sacred time of year, preparing ourselves for Easter, and moving ourselves personally from darkness to light.

Today, I had good intentions of attending Mass with my son and his first grade class at our home parish. Instead, he is with Baby Girl and me, resting and fighting off a chest cold. To be quite honest, I’m not fasting today, either. At 35 weeks pregnant with another son, I’m finding it difficult to do much of anything these days but eat, rest, repeat. I’m making my sacrifices in other ways, however. Such as giving up social media, praying more whenever my anxiety levels kick in, going to bed earlier rather than staying up late to watch a show or read a novel.

This Lent, I’m slowing it down and taking each day as it comes. During the first six weeks of 2015, God has thrown my family quite the curveball and we’ve been carrying a heavy cross upon our hearts and shoulders ever since. In moving towards acceptance of some horrific realities as of late, I’m trying to leave the future in His hands, trying to let go of the guilt I feel, and trying to embrace this new normal for our lives. In my heart, I pray that the isolation we’re feeling is only temporary—no matter how long a time we must endure the pain.

The days have been long, tedious, heart-wrenching, and unimaginable–much like the beating, gripping, wretched journey Christ, himself, traveled. Even though it feels like our family is being pulled apart in too many directions, that we’re unraveling at the seams, I know God has a plan for our lives—and especially for the lives of our family members experiencing the most pain, facing the greatest challenges, carrying the heaviest crosses of their lives.

This Lent, I’m taking the advice of Pope Francis, quoted above, and trusting more in God. I must. I see no other way.

Living Intentionally in 2014

07 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by in Blessings, Change, Forgiveness, Infertility, Miscarriage, New Year's Resolutions, Past, Peace, Perspective, Snow day!, Writing, Writing routine

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Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
~Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850

I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.  ~Henry Moore

It’s that time of year, one resplendent with making promises to ourselves that this new year will be better than the last. It’s an awesome, positive time of year despite that the good intentions might be laced with bitter despair by looking back on all that went wrong in a previous year. In 2013, I was facing emotional and physical trials that put an abrupt end to any worthy resolution I had in mind for the year as I began with joyful anticipation of focusing on growing my family and writing my motherhood stories. Instead, I spent my days and months fighting to get my body, mind, and spirit back. It was an exhausting feat, but I survived and once again, the wounds of despair have made me a stronger, kinder, more resilient being. The writing, in fact, saved me.

Writing is therapy.

Writing is therapy.

The first week of 2014 has found me locked up indoors tending to my three children, all whom fell ill in a staggered progression that began with a quick onset of fever and chills, moved to various stomach ails, and was followed by a brutal, lingering head and chest cold. Now we are all stuck inside a little while longer due to the unsightly arctic blast growling outside. No school, no recreational activities, no heading out for us. There are blessings in being grounded together for a couple more days. Not only do the kids have some extra time to recoup, but I’ve found ample time to reflect on what I want differently out of today, tomorrow, and the days ahead. At the top of my priorities for this new year?  Cutting myself some slack and worrying less about the future. Living less in my mind and more in the present.  Lacerating my tendency toward undue anxiety and negative self-talk. Deeper, mindful breathing. Allowing myself to move slowly and deliberately as long as I’m heading forward and onward to a better self, life, and sense of purpose.

Slow down and live life more fully.

Slow down and live life more fully.

What do you have in mind for your new year? How do you want to live differently just for today?